Life Support for the Porn Addict

Jonathan Pokluda | 03.19.18

Hi friend, I’m so glad you’re here. Even being willing to read this is a step in the right direction. But you have a problem. You can’t stop looking at porn. I mean, you could probably stop for a week, or maybe even a month, but then you slip again. You give in to the temptation. It seems the only way you could resist porn is if you’re dead. What you don’t realize is that you’re already almost dead. You are lying on the operating room table, flatlined. Life has lost its color. Except porn, nothing is as exciting as it once was. Porn fights to be the only thing you think about. Your only option seems to be to consume more and more porn. But in doing so, you fall deeper into the pit of hopelessness. You’re not alone. I’ve been there. At one point, I was so deep in my addiction that I would call in sick to work so I could stay home and watch porn. The good news is you can stop. I’ve found healing and so can you! Meanwhile, porn is choking the life out of you. You need CPR.

CONFESS (C)
You’ve confessed before, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Begin to confess at the thought level. Confess every time, before you sin. Make it a game. Try to confess as soon as you sense the temptation. Invite others into your struggle, before you take action. Confess when you think about porn. Confess when you have lustful thoughts. Confess when you find yourself aroused, and confess the thoughts and experiences that got you there. Perhaps you think, “then I’ll spend all of my time confessing.” That might be true for some time. But that is the desperate cry of a nearly dead man (or woman). Do it. Every time. Confess at the thought level. And if you didn’t, confess as soon as you can. (1 John 1:8-9)

PRAY (P)
Never confess without asking for prayer. James 5:16 gives us this “formula” for healing. Why wouldn’t you take full advantage of it? Confess and get others to pray for you. Pray also for yourself. Take your desperate pleas to God. Cry out to Him with honesty. Tell Him that you don’t want to click that hashtag or visit that site. Tell Him that you don’t want to watch that movie of two strangers, who He created, having sex for money. Beg Him to help you take your thoughts captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) Pray the most honest prayers that you can. Stop the formalities. Your life is at risk! As clearly as you can, beg The One who gave you life to help you stop your perverted pursuits.

REPENT (R)
You’ve spoken the sin out loud to others. You’ve asked them to pray, and you’ve prayed like your life depended on it. Now, stop returning to that well of poison. Turn from your sin. You were running toward the wrong end zone. You’ve been dribbling toward the wrong goal. The referee and the fans have been jumping up and down screaming, “you’re going the wrong way!” Before you reach half court, you can realize it. You can turn toward the other goal, the right goal. You can change your course of action. You can begin to run the other direction. Run away from your sin. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

CHRIST (C)
He is the new goal. He is what you are now running toward. How can you fill your life with the things of Christ? What makes you love Jesus more when you do it? Do more of that! Porn has never made you love Christ more. What does? Maybe it’s a book, a podcast, a trip, sitting in nature, listening to worship music, or sitting on a patio with friends. What is it for you? Join Bible studies, attend equipping classes, go ‘all in’ with your small group. Plan experiences with them. Finally, it’s time to commit to that recovery program. Not just going to it, but committing to going through it. Who do you think it’s for? It’s for people just like you. People who are dying in their sin. Ultimately, seek Christ first and recovery will come. (Matthew 6:33)

PURSUE MARRIAGE (P)
God has given you a single outlet for your sexual desires, and that is a spouse. All of us have been given a “flame” of sexual desire by God. The problem with porn is that it is like pouring kerosene on this flame, which turns into an unmanageable bonfire. It will burn down anyone we bring into a relationship with us. So, before you can get married, you have to get well. Allow your desire for marriage to be an additional motivation for healing. Porn will kill your marriage long before there’s even a prospective spouse in view. So, the best next step for you to pursue a spouse, is for you to pursue healing – not as your sole motivation, but a motivation, none the less. (1 Corinthians 7:9)

REMOVE ACCESS (R)
This one will let you know if you’re serious about getting well or not. How do you access porn? Get rid of it. A phone? A computer? Cable TV? Get rid of it. I often talk to people who say they’re struggling with porn. Let me tell you how that conversation goes. When I ask how they are accessing pornography, the often reply, “My cell phone.” I ask, “Where is your cell phone?” When they tell me that their phone is in their pocket, I have to tell them, “you’re not struggling with porn. You’re carrying it around with you in your pocket. You haven’t even begun to struggle.”

If something is killing you, don’t carry it around with you. Am I asking you to get rid of your cell phone? Yes, I am. Get a flip a phone. The world will still go on, actually with more life in it! Leave your laptop at the office. End your Netflix subscription. Do whatever it takes. If you think this is legalistic, please read these four verses from Jesus Himself in Matthew 5:27-30. Don’t use the excuse: “I will still be able to access porn.” Make access to porn very difficult, so that when you are tempted you can confess, pray, and repent.

CPRX2
Friend, porn is killing you. There is hope. You need to be revived, and I know no better way than the steps above. You need CPR. Write CPRX2 (CPR times two) on your computer, your phone, and everywhere you can. It will serve as a reminder that you need to be healed by God. Memorize these steps. I was once a porn addict myself. I looked at it daily. Since then, I have been healed. When I was recovering from slavery to porn, I can remember driving down a highway and being tempted to look at a billboard advertising an adult book store. The girl on the billboard was calling for me, but through confession, prayer, repentance, intimacy with Christ, and a desire for a spouse, I was able to not look up. That small victory over temptation showed me there was hope. The freedom I had experienced with Jesus was finally better than anything porn offered me. I’ve found victory in Christ. So will you, if you commit to these steps. I pray that you will find life and live it to the fullest. (John 10:10)

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