Padlocked Blessings

By Larissa V

We have a choice: to follow the Lord or not. It seems simple enough. It even seems logical. Once you believe there is a God and start to understand who He is, why wouldn’t you follow the Lord? He has so much to offer. Love, provisions, comfort, rest, peace, and lots of blessings.

Blessings and blessing and blessings.

Being a girly girl, I have those moments of turning on my “daughter” charm and wanting to figure out ways to ask my earthly father for things he can give that I want. Wish I could say this has never happened with the Lord but, let's be honest, it happens much more with Him!

How often I will sit there and think, “oh, and God if You could do that too, that would be great!” “Speaking of blessings, I would love for You to provide this opportunity.” I mean isn’t there that verse that says, "Ask and you will receive?"

Recently, though, I have been shocked how my mentality can so easily get skewed just a little, but enough to have a huge impact on my approach to the Lord. I have developed an “if I do this….then You will give me that…” mentality. Part of that is how much of life around us works. Newton said it best, “for every action there is a reaction.”

But when Newton said that I don’t think he was thinking of God. God has managed to remain outside the laws of physics…but then I shouldn’t be surprised by that. God provides blessings because He can, not because I did something. Too often I take ownership and think it is my doing that the Lord blesses me. This theology on God is all well when everything is going good in life. The blessings are then a self-righteous way for me to applaud myself for “doing good” and that is why these blessings have happened.

But what happens when everything turns south? God even promises hard times, so then what? Did I do something wrong? Possibly…but not necessarily. Remember the story of Job? So, now I’ve developed this self-worth not on who God is, but on what I did. I measured my self-worth in blessings. I pursued the Lord because of what He could give me.

I have stopped running after God, and instead run after what having God in my life can give me.

I find myself starting to strive to find the perfect combination to take me back to all those blessings. If I read my Bible every day. If I start to memorize verses. If I feed the homeless. If I serve at church. If I give money away.

Sometimes it is in visible ways, but then other times it is in those internal ways no one can really see.

If I “love” the Lord more. If I pray harder. If I become humble. If I confess my sins…

…then, surely things will get back to normal. Then, I will get what I’ve always wanted…a new job, more financial security, a husband, a full life with no pain and according to my will and plan.

My desire to change the inside has passed the Lord all together. He has become a means of getting what I want, and to where I believe I will find true happiness. God has become the padlock that is holding my blessings, and I am desperate to figure out the combination.

I recognize my need to stop seeing a padlock, but see God. Stop thinking He is holding things from me, but that He is enough for me…more than enough…all I need… Not only is there nothing I can do to make Him love me more or less, but the Lord wants what we all want: To be loved for who He is, not for what He can give.

How do you see God? As a reluctant giver? Or as the loving, perfect Father who runs to His children? Maybe somewhere in between? Share your story...