Do You Feel Loved?

All right, Porch. How are we doing? Are we doing okay tonight? Awesome. Great to see you. Welcome back. You look good as always. I love what God is doing here in Dallas and am so glad you would give us your time on a Tuesday night to be a part of what he is doing here, but not just those of you in the room. Also everybody who is online and tuning in this evening or in the future. We're really glad you would be here with us. Special shout-out to all of our Porch.Live locations. Porch.Live Wheaton, Midland, and Boise, special shout-out to y'all tonight.

In 2017, I found myself standing on the cusp of a legitimately life-altering, trajectory-shaping decision that would shape my future forever as I knew it. I was considering proposing to one Brooke Nicole Gajdica, which was a huge deal for me for a couple of reasons. First, I'm not an event planner. I'm pretty bad at it, and a proposal (fellows, if you're listening) is a major event that you're probably going to need some help with.

The second thing I knew is I was about to step into making a decision that was not just big but the biggest decision, as well as the biggest purchase, I had ever made in my life. So, I was kind of weighing through whether or not I was ready to go for it, yet as I evaluated all of the variables, I knew it was time. She was the one.

Now, going into the proposal, I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted there to be no hiccups whatsoever, so I made a clear plan that I could follow along and check off as I went. I went ahead and booked the venue. I coordinated with all of our friends. I made sure they were there in the area. I talked to our families, her parents and our siblings, and I hid them there on-site so she could see them when the proposal happened.

I booked a photographer. I hid that person in plain sight so they could get all the best action shots as we were making our way to the spot where it would actually happen and I would pop the question. I prepped decorations. I went to incredible lengths to make this event one that was perfect. I wanted it to be the best proposal possible, but if that was not enough, I had one ace up my sleeve.

You see, over the course of our dating relationship, which was three years (don't judge me), she had never heard from me, nor had any woman whom I dated ever heard from me those three fateful words "I love you." I was prepared to say those words to her in this moment, because she was the one and only one person I ever wanted to communicate these words to.

So, to set the scene, the moment finally came. The sun was setting. I had timed golden hour perfectly. The sky was watercolor red and orange, that perfect spot where the clouds had rolled in and the sun had dipped behind them and everything lit up beautifully. I had made sure we were walking at the perfect cool of the day, pond to our right, serene setting, geese swimming, hand in hand, making our way to what was a gazebo decorated in twinkling lights.

As we walked up those steps, it occurred to her what was happening, which was the best gift for me, because I had achieved my final check. It was a surprise. She had no idea whatsoever. As we made our way into the gazebo, there were framed pictures that marked the key moments and memories over the course of our relationship. I had littered the area with white tulips, her favorite flower, and tea candles just to set the ambiance.

So, I grabbed her by the hand, looked her in the eye, and bent to one knee. As I pulled the ring from my pocket, I forgot everything I was about to say. Namely, I forgot to say, "I love you." I managed to pull the proposal off, but I had waited my entire life, at that point 25 years, to propose to this woman, and I had never said these words. I'd reserved them exclusively for this hour, and I totally blanked on it. All of the drama, all of the buildup, all of the hype over the course of my life for nothing.

Now, do you think she questioned whether I loved her or not? No, of course not. We had history. Yet do you think she wanted to hear those words, as she knew I had reserved them very exclusively for this person, which happened to be her? Yes! Of course she did. So much so that she reminded me in the moment. "Ahem! Aren't you forgetting something?" "Oh, yeah. I love you." It was that kind of moment.

You see, she was not in question about the fact that I loved her, but she wanted to hear the expression that embodied our experience over the course of the last couple of years. You see, she knew those words meant something. They launched the two of us into a whole new way of life. By way of me saying that and identifying a new kind of relationship, we were stepping into a situation where we were pursuing a new sort of reality, where we were living a new life together. We had a new future to find. Our purpose had been redefined in a moment.

Now, why do I tell you all that? Because I am increasingly convinced that while many of us know Jesus loves us, we do not live like Jesus loves us. Everything has, in fact, not changed. So, tonight, I want to speak those fateful few words to those of you here listening right now. I want to bring you in on one of the greatest passages declaring the love of God for you, because I want to move you past simply the facts of the gospel into feeling those facts, where you not only know the love of God but feel the love of God in your life. That's what I want to do.

To do it, we're going to listen to the apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians. So, if you have a Bible, you can grab it and turn with me to the book of Ephesians. Here's why we're doing this right now. Last week, we finished a series, a great series on joy. Next week, we're starting a brand-new series. As we were considering, "What's going to happen in the middle of those two things?" I just considered, praying to God, "What is most important for these people?" and I sensed the Lord tell me, "Kylen, just tell them I love them."

My response was, "God, they probably know that. We've been singing about your love for us since we were small children, more than likely. We know you love us, God. Give us something more profound." In that moment, I felt immense conviction. "What do you mean 'more profound'? Faith, hope, and love. These three remain, but the greatest of these is love."

"Why, God? Why is it the greatest?"

"Because though you need faith now, you will not need it forever. You will see me face to face. Though hope is needed now, you will not need hope forever, because you will be with me in heaven as your home for all eternity, yet love never ends, and it begins right now."

So many of us do not feel like love has actually begun. Our experience does not jive with what we know the Scriptures subscribe. Instead, what we often hear is a form of Christianity that feels more synonymous, for you and me, of just living above average in our morality. We're dealing with a nagging guilt of missing another quiet time or rationalizing our sin because, "Man, it's not that big of a deal, and it feels good whenever I frequent it, so I'm going to keep it over here as a little bit of a pet," or we feel that shameful feeling of not really wanting to share the gospel with anybody. We know we should, but that's kind of something someone else can do.

This is more synonymous with our Christian experience rather than the thrill of a theology that tells us God radically, wildly, crazily loves you. We have a kind of Christian experience that does not jive with the truth that there's a rush of relationship in walking with Jesus. I want to give you back the thrill. I want to give you back the rush. I want to imbue you with all the vitality, vibrancy, and energy that your relationship to God is supposed to be filled with. I want to get you out of knowing and playing make-believe and into experiencing and realizing that all of this is true. I think too often, we move through life, and we act the part, but we do not feel the part.

As we come to chapter 3 in Paul's letter to the Ephesians, it's the perfect place to unpack this idea, because Paul is writing to a group of people who are living in this massive city called Ephesus. Ephesus was the center of trade in the ancient Greco-Roman world. It was the epicenter for Greek and Roman idol worship. Meaning, it was this massive city with a group of young adults whom Paul is writing to that is built around big business, materialism, and sexual opportunity. Sound familiar?

Paul is writing to a group of people in that sort of context, and it's to them that he says, "Hey, the world is promising you so much else, satisfaction in all of these other places, yet it's only found in Jesus." You see, the climax of history is not in what you have materially. It's not in where you live. It's not in what you do occupationally. It's not in what kind of pleasure you find. It's found in Jesus. All of history has been pointing to this man, and it's for very good reason.

As we come to chapter 3, we see Paul. He pivots in his letter. He goes from chapters 1 and 2 where it's all orthodoxy, what scholars identify as a focus on doctrine, and he moves into orthopraxy after chapter 3. He moves into chapters 4 and 5 and starts talking about orthopraxy. He starts to tell us how we're supposed to live.

In chapters 1 and 2, he only gives us one command. He just tells us to remember. Remember what? Remember the details of the gospel, the fact that Jesus has stepped into our reality to defeat our enemy, to take out our sin, to pay the cost of that on the cross, to unite us to himself, to be identified with us and have us identified with him, and he is building a multiethnic community. That's what Jesus has done.

Before he moves on and tells us, "In light of all that, here's what you should now do," he stops. He actually gets distracted, because he wants you and me to know what these verses say. So, in Ephesians 3:14-16, he says this, detailing how crazy God's love is for his people: "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being…"

You might read this or hear it read to you, and it sounds like typical Bible, yet you need to know this is pretty melodramatic even for the apostle Paul. He could have just said, "I pray to God that you would know you're loved. Go in peace to love and serve the Lord, everybody." But he doesn't do that. He goes to an incredible level of detail, a Shakespearean level of speech, to articulate the depth of affection God has for us.

Why would he do that? Well, why do men (or did men) speak poetry to their beloved? Because men, not only then but still today, are bad at communicating their feelings. It's not something we are necessarily good at. I will speak as one ambassador for the male population. So, because we care deeply about that person, we know, "I cannot run the risk of speaking in a way that will fall short of my feelings. No, mere words will not suffice. I must express my feelings instead."

That's what Paul is doing. He is not just reciting facts about the way God loves you. He's pouring out his heart so you might know just how wildly you're loved. Listen to it. "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being…"

Do you hear it? That's a lot. The guy has a flair for the dramatic. He is doing all this because he simply wants us to know "This is how wildly you're loved," which raises another question for us. Why does he feel the need to do this? Why does he need to up the ante, to pour on the passion? Because he knows while it would be easy to say, "You're loved," he knows while we know that, we don't often actually believe it.

Sure, we know the nursery rhymes. We've learned the Bible stories. We've listened to the testimonies of how God has reached in and saved people from the depth of their own despair, yet despite knowing it all, when we get honest with ourselves and it boils down to the most gut-level, honest place within our inner being, we know that while it is true, we don't feel it's true for us.

That's why Paul is praying here. He wants us to grasp the love of God not just with our minds but with our own hearts. He wants it to move from here down into here. He wants it to permeate every faculty of your being. He wants you to know what kind of impact that kind of love should have in your life. So he tells us four things, specifically, that will help us understand what the love of Jesus feels like, what it actually does to a person in their life. He picks it up in verse 16.

He says, "[I bow my knees so] that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being…" The first thing Paul wants to remind us of is that Jesus gives strength in place of exhaustion. Is anybody tired in here? It's always inevitably true when I ask that question, yet I never cue a response.

People raise their hands and lift their voices, because people want to be identified. Like, "Man, I'm tired. Work has me beat. My boss is asking way too much of me. My friends are constantly asking me to go out. It's difficult being popular. I know the weekend is coming, but it feels like the weekdays are never-ending. I don't get enough sleep. Instead, I'm awake too often, and not by my own choice. I would kill for a vacation."

I get it. I understand that this is the case, yet here's what I want you to know: your tiredness is not the product of what's happening outside of you; it is the product of what's happening inside of you. Your tiredness is not the product of what's happening outside; it's the product of what's happening inside. It's not that work is just so crazy; it's that you are desperately identifying with the success your work offers, and that's making you crazy.

It's not that your boyfriend or girlfriend is so needy; it's that you want to be needed by somebody. It's not that all of your friends want too much of you; it's that you want to be approved of by these people, so you drive yourself to the point of exhaustion in order to achieve it. It's not just that you're constantly trying to measure up to everybody who's around you; it's that you only find your value in how you stack up against the competition. It's not what's happening outside; it's what's happening inside that is making you tired. I could go on.

So many of us let the outer world impact our inner lives as opposed to letting our inner lives impact the outer world. The results are exhausting. I remember when I was in college (I've told this story before, but it feels too perfect to pass on to help make the point here), I learned how to craft a world-class résumé. I got really good at it, so good to the point I actually took a job in helping people craft their résumés. (I'm not in that line of work anymore, so save the emails. You can find somebody else to help you with that.)

I learned all of the tools of the trade. I learned good action verbs. I knew what it looked like to take one's achievements and accolades and put them on paper in a way that really impressed. I knew what it looked like to format and use the right fonts so businesses would read it and would say, "Man, this guy or this girl has a leg up on the rest of our candidates." I knew what it meant to self-promote at the highest level possible, yet there was always one thing that stood out to me as really interesting when I would help people with their résumés.

I would ask them, "Hey, send me over whatever résumé you have as of now." What they would send me was not one page, thought that's what it's supposed to be. They would send me multiple pages recounting all of their achievements, awards, and causes for recognition. What struck me about that was not that they were sending me multiple pages because "Surely, one page is not enough to contain my awesomeness," but because one page was surely not enough to impress anybody, in their estimation. They needed more than that.

They knew, "Something is wrong on the inside, so I need to fix myself on the outside. I don't think I'm actually genuinely enough to impress anybody. I'm not enough to impress anybody socially, financially, professionally, romantically, or spiritually speaking. I'm not enough." The case is true for so many of us. That's why you wrap yourself in high-powered jobs. It's why you filter your photos. It's why you choose to buy the nicest brands as opposed to the brands that exist within your current budget.

It's why you choose to pursue big goals that other people want as opposed to the goals you yourself want, why you chase after that job as opposed to just a good job. It's because you are measuring yourself up in accordance with what everyone else thinks. You are finding your value in the love of the world and not the love of a king. The result of it is exhaustion. You feel flawed on the inside, so you're trying to fix yourself on the outside.

Here's the truth: you are flawed on the inside. You are dead in your trespasses and sins, yet Jesus Christ has come not to fix you on the outside but to fix that which you cannot fix. He has come to fix you on the inside. He has come to give of himself, to give to you all that you lack so you might find all that you want in him. He has come to replace your exhaustion with his strength. It's not even that he has come to save you from where you were, the fact that you used to be back there dealing with those sins and those problems and all of those mistakes.

He's not just worried about the past. He has not just saved you from that. He has saved you to a glorious future. He is leading you into something the likes of which will be better than you could ever dare ask or imagine. Don't believe me? Place your faith in him and take him up on the offer. See if it is better. I assure you it will be. His Word is true. His promises are perfect. He does not fail to keep his word. He will lead you forward into that which you could not dare dream for yourself, and it's because there he is, waiting for you.

Paul says it like this to the Corinthians when talking about the inner person. He says in 2 Corinthians 4:16, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." That's how much God cares about your inner person. That's why, here in Ephesians 3, he's literally strengthening every day by his Spirit our innermost being from the inexhaustible well of his glorious riches. That's amazing to consider.

God cares a lot about how you are doing on the inside. So let me ask you: How healthy is your inner life tonight? What do you see when you stare at that part of yourself no one else can see? How do you feel in your soul? How is your spiritual pulse doing? Is it strong, beating vibrantly within your chest, or is it flatlining? Are you striding with the Spirit, making great ground, or are you cold, dead, on the table because your inner life is withering while you try to keep up with the world's watching? What is it for you?

Listen to me. God's desire for your life is not a life of hopelessness or exhaustion or stress or desperation or insecurity. If that describes your experience, that's not his heart for you. That's not his life for you. Instead, his desire is that your life would flourish, that you would be bursting and beaming with life, that everywhere you go would be a place of flourishing, not because the circumstances are great but because he is with you in the circumstances, because he goes with you wherever it is you go, because he is the source of your life, not the things in this world.

His love should strengthen your innermost self so that when…not if but when…things go bad, when failure inevitably comes, when trouble eventually strikes, when hurt happens, you are still standing on the other side of it. That is the first thing the love Jesus offers does to your life. That's how it should feel. It should feel like strength.

But that's not all. The second one is in verse 17. He prays "…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love…" It's interesting. When you read this verse in the original language… Our English translations don't exactly do justice to what Paul is meaning here. When Paul says "…that Christ may dwell in your hearts," he uses a word for dwell that means more than simply being in a house but actually means being at home.

Jesus looks at your life, and he does not treat it like an Airbnb. It's not a place he stays at for a while, but then he slips out whenever things are not up to his standard. It's not that he lives in your heart, but then the minute you start to misbehave or do something bad or you're not praying enough or "Man, I don't know; that doesn't actually feel worthy for me…" When that happens, he doesn't just dip and leave you to pick up the mess. He does not treat you that way.

He considers your heart his home. He knows every nook and cranny. He has keys to every single room, and he likes it there. Jesus likes making his home in your heart. Any homebodies in the room? Is anybody bold enough to raise a hand and say, "Yeah, man. I'd rather be at home than go out with some people"?

Jesus is a homebody when it comes to you. He wants to be with you. He wants to take up residence inside of you. He wants to dwell with you and make you into his home, because the love Jesus offers gives acceptance, not rejection. Jesus gives acceptance, not rejection, which is easy to understand, but it is much more difficult to believe. Why? Well, let me try an exercise to see if I can illustrate this.

I want you to hear the question I ask in a moment, and I want you to answer it in two ways quietly within yourself, because I want you to answer it honestly. I don't want you to fear your anonymity being at risk, that people are going to know. I want you to answer it quietly, and I want you to answer it quickly, like, the first thing that comes to mind. Grab hold of that and remember it as we walk through this. Here's the question: What single word comes to mind when you think about yourself?

I remember a counselor asking me this same question not even five years ago, and the answer for me sprung top of mind, and it's still an answer I find myself identifying even to this day. The answer for me was disappointment. I felt behind all of my peers. I was not happy with where I was in life. I was stuck in a city I didn't want to be in any longer. I was mentally struggling in ways that I never had before. I was fighting off some nagging sin that was impacting the lives of people I cared a lot about.

As I looked at all the evidence of who I was in that moment, I realized, "I'm not worthy of love. I'm unattractive. I am undesirable. I am unlovable." Some of you can relate to that. That's why it's easier for you to list your weaknesses than it is for you to list your strengths. That's why you rewrite captions and retake selfies and redo voice memos again and again and again. Some of you know it's you, because you don't think the genuine, authentic, true article of who you are is enough.

It's why you replay conversations you had in your mind long after those conversations have concluded. It's why you walk into rooms like this and you look a certain way and act a certain way. You put up a front because you're fearful of people knowing you for who you are. Why are you so fearful? Why do you do all this? Because no one will actually accept you; they will all reject you if they know who you really, truly, wholeheartedly are. But not Jesus. That is not the heart of Jesus.

Jesus isn't interested in people giving him a good reason to love them. Jesus is interested in the people who have no good reason for him to love them, because he has come to give them a good reason himself. This is the heart of who Christ is. Just think about the people he drew near to in life…sinners, blasphemers, adulterers, addicts, traitors, and outcasts, those on the periphery. He drew near not to the lovable of the world but to the unlovable of the world.

Not to those where he was like, "Man, it's beneficial to be around you guys." That's not who Jesus spent time with. He spent time around those it was costly to spend time with, so costly, in fact, that it cost him his own life. He so badly wants to be near those who are unwanted because it's to them he can give worth. He wants to be near those who are hopeless because it's to them that he can give hope. It's those who feel lonely he wants to be close to because he can give them a friend.

It's those of you who feel so unworthy of the world's affection whom he has come to give something so much bigger than their affection; he has come to give you God's. That's what it says in Romans 5:8. It's a famous verse and one you should put to memory if you do not know it. "…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Not while you were perfect, not while you were doing okay, and not while you were on the mend. While you were still a sinner, he died for you.

Here's the thing. This isn't a flighty or feeble-feeling kind of love. Paul goes on to say it's rooted and grounded. What does that mean? Well, it's agricultural and industrial language. Think about roots. What do roots do? Roots reach out in search of nourishment so they can grow. Foundations need to be strong so you can build on top of them.

Last year, Brooke and I were on a house hunt in this crazy market in Dallas, Texas, and as we were going into houses, we would perpetually look for cracks in the ceilings, on the walls, and on the exterior. I remember we went into one house, and it was beautiful. It had all of the right trappings, great fixtures and great furnishings. It was well painted, renovated recently, and in a great location in town. It looked perfect, yet we could not look past the cracks that were snaking down the wall, serving as evidence to us that it did not have a good foundation, and because it did not have a good foundation, it would be costly to live there.

Some of you have built your life on a bad foundation, and it has cost you dearly. You're giving more than you should. You're giving your body over to some guy because you want his approval. His approval isn't worth it. It's not worthy of offering yourself over. Some of you want so badly for the approval of your friends that you're willing to compromise your personal integrity. Their approval is not worth that.

Some of you are so enslaved to success because you have to get that job, yet that job isn't worth the cost. Some of you want so badly to measure up, not in other people's eyes but in your own eyes, so you are living under an immense amount of pressure. You don't have to do that. It's not worth it. For some of you, it's not a bad foundation. Instead, you are drawing on nothing. You have set your roots into places where it's not pulling on living water; it's pulling on no water. It's pulling on something that is making you not healthy but unhealthy.

You're indulging in toxic relationships just so you can feel valued. You have an addiction to pornography just because it helps you feel happy. You care so much about the opinions of others because you want desperately to fit in. You suffer from imposter syndrome because you think you'll never measure up. What it has done is it has left you weak, guilty, insecure, paranoid, and jealous. I know it because I've lived it. I've been there. I am also one of you in this regard.

Here's the thing. You either draw from or you build on something that gives you scarcity or stability in life. The world will give you scarcity; Jesus will give you stability. His love is one you can root into and build upon and find life within, because the love of Jesus doesn't tolerate you, doesn't endure you, and isn't indifferent toward you; it's wild about you. God is wild about you, so wild, in fact, that the apostle Paul keeps going.

He wants you to know the love of Jesus makes you strong and gives you acceptance, but not just that. He says in verse 18, "[I pray that you] may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge…" How wild is Jesus about you? So wild that Paul prays we would have strength to comprehend the breadth, the length, the height, and the depth of it.

Do you hear that? He's saying, "Hey, I hope you're ready for this. You might break a mental sweat thinking about it, so I just need to make sure. Are you sure you're ready to have this conversation, to consider the things I'm going to tell you? It's big, man. Are you sure? It's way bigger than just a conversation about predestination.

This is way bigger than the dispute between lordship, salvation, and the alternative positions. This isn't just covenant theology we're talking about. No, the age of the earth has nothing on this. Those are small things in comparison to this. This thing is big. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? You need to make sure. We're talking about the love of Christ."

He tells you you need strength to comprehend that, yet here's the thing. This should be convicting to us, because we are not like Paul. We so casually talk about the love of Christ. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. I know that." He talks so carefully about it. He is strapping on his spiritual weight-lifting belt while we're willing to just slip under the bar and get crushed by the fact that we do not know the love Paul is describing here.

You see, Paul knows what we don't. He knows that Jesus gives a love too big for bored belief. That's why he describes that it has breadth. What does he mean? That's a reference to Ephesians 2:11-18. The breadth of it includes all people…every background, every color, every language, every ethnicity. Every single person is included in this kind of love.

His love has length. He chose us from before the foundation of the world. That's Ephesians 1:4-5. It has height. It has seated us with Christ in the heavenly places. That's Ephesians 2:6. It has depth. Jesus came from the heights of heaven not just to the depth of this earth but to the depth of your depravity, to the very worst of all of us, to save us. That's Ephesians 2:1-3.

He is praying that we would understand two things: the immensity and the intensity of God's love for us. The immensity, that he loves the entirety of who you are and the length of your days. He is here for the beginning of your life to the very end of it. The immensity of his love spans over the entirety of who you are, but the intensity of it is focused at every single individual aspect of who you are. That's the kind of love Jesus has, and that's crazy. That is a wild thing to consider.

Have you thought about it that way? Here's the thing. It goes even further. He keeps going. He says, "I pray you would know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge." I remember when I was in college, every single day, I would sit at my kitchen table eating my Cheerios, and I would stare up at this giant painted canvas of this verse, which my roommate had hung up in our house without anybody's permission.

So here I am, reading this verse, considering to myself, "What does this even mean? This is what's so frustrating about Christianity. I don't understand. How can you know something that surpasses knowledge?" Yet, as I've walked with Jesus, I think I know the answer. God wants you to have more than a conceptual understanding of his love; he wants you to have an experiential understanding of his love.

That may freak some of us out, but here's the thing. He is not calling you to simply an intellectual orientation where your mind is engaged. Nor is he calling you to simply an emotional orientation where your heart is engaged. He is calling you to an experiential orientation where both head and heart are intertwined intimately to one another, where you actually encounter God.

You walk into rooms like this, and it's not just, "Man, okay. We sang some songs, I listened to that guy kind of ramble for a little bit, I saw my friends, and then I walked out." That's not your experience here, because if you're showing up and engaging with a living God, it should change things for you. It should move something in you. It should stir up your soul. Yet often, our experience of Jesus' love does not match the experience people in the Bible had of Jesus' love.

Just consider the Gospels. How do people experience Jesus' love? Well, he forgave sinners; he didn't condemn them. He moved toward the outcasts, not away from them. He protected the poor; he didn't take advantage of them. He empowered regular people, not celebrity Christians and spiritual superstars. He defended the weak, comforted the hurting, taught the curious, challenged the arrogant, and loved his enemies.

This was people's experience of Christ's love in the Gospels, and we know it, yet our experience of Jesus' love feels so very different, because when we mess up, it's not a voice of mercy that meets us; it's a voice of shame. When we act in fear, it's not a voice of compassion that meets us in that moment; it is a voice of frustration. When we hide our sin, it's not a voice of pursuit; it is a voice of judgment. When we sin against Jesus, it's not the voice of grace that meets us; it's the voice of condemnation.

Here's the thing, Porch. I need you to see it. If what we feel from Jesus does not match what we know from Jesus in the Bible, what it means is we do not know the love of Jesus as well as we think, because we are not experiencing it as they experienced it. Does that make sense? That's so important for you to get.

That's why he has given you his Spirit. Romans 5:5 says, "…and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." How much does Jesus love you? So much that he has given you the Holy Spirit to remind you, "Hey, I love you."

"Today?"

"Yeah, today."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow."

"Next week?"

"Yeah, next week."

"This life?"

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere."

"Forever?"

"That's exactly where I'm taking you, because I love you."

God wants to assure you of his love so much that he has poured his Holy Spirit into your life to declare to you how much he loves you. He wants to save you from a life of knowing his love distantly but never feeling his love personally. If he didn't, why would he enter into relationship with you? Have you ever thought about that?

Why would Jesus want relationship with you if all he wanted was for you to know about him? You can know about someone by just reading their story, but you cannot feel their love for you until you enter into their story. So many of us have read the story, but we have not read ourselves into it, the fact that he not only came to save the world; he came to save you.

Last point. Verse 19: "…that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Here's the thing. We're all full of something. Okay? Some of you are full of stress. Others of you are full of disappointment. Others of you are full of anxiety. For others, it's frustration. For some it's regret. Contrary to what most people say, the world does not leave you empty. In fact, it is filling you up with something and the wrong thing.

When I was in high school, I took my dad's truck to go get some gas. By nature of my own habit, I hopped out of the truck, swiped my card, grabbed the pump, and proceeded to put gasoline into his diesel Excursion. I was putting the wrong thing in his truck. I was filling it with that which would not help it but hurt it.

Many of you are filling yourself with things that will not help you but will hurt you. Some of you have a habit of pumping the wrong thing into your life, yet here's the thing. My dad showed up and helped me siphon the gas from his tank. Jesus has shown up, and he has come to siphon the sin out of your soul. He wants to help you. He wants to move you back into right relationship, because Jesus gives fulfillment where the world cannot.

Here's the thing. We are all looking for fulfillment. What you need to know is fulfillment came looking for you. Fulfillment is not something you attain; it is something you appreciate, because you already have it if you have him. I love the way Charles Spurgeon described this lesson as he was teaching a friend. He took that friend to the edge of the ocean, and he took an empty bottle, unscrewed its lid, and plunged it into the depth of the ocean.

As he pulled it forward and showed it to his friend, he said, "The fullness of the ocean is in this bottle." He proceeded to take the bottle, put on its cap, and then throw the bottle into the ocean. He said, "All the fullness of the bottle is now in the ocean." That's the nature of relationship with Jesus. All of his fullness is in you, and all of your fullness is in him. He wants to be intimately, intricately intertwined with you. That's how deep his love is and how big his heart wants for you.

How do you know the love of God? You look to him who came to give you life and life to the full. Some of that sounds too good to be true. It sounds too impossible to believe. It's too unreasonable to consider. You need to know the way Paul ends is the right answer for you. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think…"

The truth of the matter is this is too good to be true. It is too unbelievable to consider. It is too impossible to be true, yet God has made a business of doing the unbelievable. He delights in the impossible. He walks in the ways that are unreasonable to the world. He has come to give you strength in place of exhaustion through the love of his Son, who came to give you life in place of death. He has come to give you acceptance, not rejection.

Though all of us were dead in our sin, separated from God, he sent his Son to bring us back into relationship with himself. He has given a love that is bigger than bored belief, a love that doesn't just lead you to want to believe in him but to want to be with him forever. He has come to give you fullness where the world cannot give you fullness. Christ came to give you what the world and you yourself could not give you. He came to give you life, even at the cost of his own self.

Do you want to feel the love you know? Some of you are here, and you've heard of this love. If you want to feel the love you know, then you have to know the love he felt, the love he felt for you, the lengths he'd go to get to you, the life he would offer up in your place, the death he would die so you would not have to, the resurrection he would take up, declaring that as he rises, you can rise with him if only you'd place your faith in him. Do you want a love like this? It's not out there; it's right here. Place your faith in him. Let me pray.

Jesus, thanks for tonight. Thank you for your love. We want to sing to you. We want to delight in what you've worked on us here this evening. God, I feel, transparently, the need to get off this stage. The timer is going quickly, yet, Lord, I don't want to rush past what you may be doing. I think, God, you might be stirring. No, God, I believe you are stirring, that there are some here who hear this call, who agree with the description.

"That has been my life. My life has been one where I have known the love of God, yet I have not felt the love of God, yet here tonight I'm hearing you. That love offers strength. That love offers acceptance. That love offers weight, and that love offers fulfillment. I want that. I want that kind of love." You need look no longer. If you want that kind of love, that love has come looking for you. You need only place your faith in Christ.

Others of you have already done so, yet you find that your spirituality is more characterized by mediocrity than significance. You can change that all tonight by simply confessing that to him, asking him for more, and believing the fact that he has come to give you more than you already have.

Jesus, we want you to work in us now. Would you take over this space? Would you move in us, we pray. It's in your name, amen.