Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?

Porch, how are we doing tonight? Man! We've kind of gotten used to this over the past couple of weeks, but this is special what's happening in this room. Some of you are like, "Yeah. I like a little elbow room, and I haven't had any this summer. What's going on?" It's not just in this room. It's people tuning in all over the country online. It's our overflow that's packed out. Welcome to the overflow. We love you guys. And all of our Porch.Live locations. Shout-out to Springfield, to Midland, and to Boise, Idaho, the land of the potatoes. Hey, we're so, so glad you're here.

If you have a Bible, go ahead and open your Bible to the book of Luke. We're going to be in Luke, chapter 22, tonight. When my wife and I were dating… My wife's name is Jen. When we were dating, we literally… I'm not kidding with you. We had no conflict during the time we dated. Zero. It was concerning to us. We were like, "Man…"

We would ask friends and mentors. Like, "We never fight. We've tried. We've tried to be like, 'I think that looks weird,' and it's like, 'Haha!' We laugh. We just don't fight." I remember one time in particular going to a mentor couple and asking, "Hey, is it weird that we never fight?" They said, "No. Y'all will probably never fight. We never fight. Y'all will never fight." We were like, "Awesome! High-five. This is great."

So, we get engaged, and we get married. We go on the honeymoon, and we come back, and it's bliss for two weeks. Then we start fighting. Conflict started in our relationship. There was one morning in particular that the conflict really boiled up. I remember my wife… She was a teacher up in Frisco, and I was a youth pastor out in Grapevine. I remember I was supposed to go to a conference in Austin. I was running late, and she was running late, and we were just having a fight. Like, a legitimate fight.

Finally, she just leaves. She's frustrated and leaves the house. I go, and I'm getting my stuff together really quickly, and then it hits me. "Oh no. I don't have my phone." And I don't see Jen's phone. She took both of our phones with her to work because we had the same phone case. We've changed that. Guys, I'm just being real with you. I remember in that moment thinking in my head, "If we were dating, I would break up with her right now." That's a weird feeling to have when you're married.

I knew, "No, I made a covenant. I'm in this thing." I'm just being honest. I felt stuck two weeks into my young marriage. I remember in that moment, wallowing in the midst of my self-pity, it felt like I heard from God. "Tyler, your real marriage starts right now. I don't care about all of those vows you said. I know that was nice. It's this moment now where you look at your bride and say, 'Regardless of what I'm feeling, I choose you. I love you.'"

What God did in that moment is he peeled back for me a pattern in my life. When things got hard in my dating relationships, I tended to run. Part of that was my personality. Part of that was growing up in a big family…five kids. When things would get chaotic, I'd just run to my room and get away. Now, in my young marriage, God was forcing me to deal with me.

Now, why do I tell you that? Because we're in the midst of this series called We Need to Talk where we're covering some of the questions you guys have asked about dating and relationships that most people don't talk about, but we're talking about them here. Tonight, in particular, we're talking about the topic Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?

I'll be honest. When I heard that topic… We were going through all of the different questions. When I heard it, I had some mixed feelings. I know many of you have asked this very question, looking at the horizon of your dating life and going, "Why does this keep happening to me?" There's one part of me that loves that question, because it's forcing you to look at your situation dead in the face and go, "What is going on?"

Looking at yourself and going, "Why do I keep ending up in these toxic relationships? I know there's nothing but trouble for me, yet that text at 1:00 a.m.… I see it buzz, and all of a sudden, like a gravitational pull, I start reaching out, and we get back together. I know it's destructive, but it's pulling me in. Why does this keep happening?"

For some of you, it's, "Why do I keep leading people on? I'm just trying to be friends, and then all of a sudden, we're just goofing off, hanging out, and then I get another text. It says, 'Hey, can we go to coffee?' We sit down, and it's a broken heart on the other side as I go, 'I'm sorry. I thought we were just friends.'" For some of you, you're stuck in sexual sin, and you thought you had made it through, just to see that thing rearing its ugly head again.

For others of you, it's that you finally found someone who actually is interested in you, and now your family, your friends, and your community disapprove, and you're going, "Why? Why?" See, this is a good question to ask, but on the other side, if I'm being completely honest with you, this question, "Why does this keep happening to me?" reeks of victim mentality. You're just looking at yourself, going, "Why me? Everything is happening to me."

I'm concerned, honestly, for some of you who think the world is against you and ask, "Why is this happening?" If I were sitting down at coffee with you and you were bemoaning about your situation and your problem, I would start to ask some questions to diagnose this. What in your life are some bad habits that you're locked into that you need to be set free from? So, the reality is… I don't want to bait and switch you, but actually, the topic I'm going to cover tonight is "Why do I keep getting stuck in bad dating habits? How do I break free of the dating habits that are keeping me down?" That's what we're going to look at tonight.

This is not a message for those of you who are in an extended season of singleness and trying to faithfully follow after God. This is not for you. This is not for those of you who had horrible things happen against you in the relationship. We've talked about those. This is for those of you who are stuck in a cycle of constantly having the same thing happen. It's time to turn the mirror on yourself and go, "What am I doing that's causing this chronic pain to creep up in my own life?"

I believe some of you are here tonight… Some of you have been excited. It's a dating series. Some of you are like, "Why am I here? I had to park a mile away. I'm sitting next to somebody who stinks. What is going on? Why am I here?" I believe, for some of you, you're here because God wants to speak to you tonight. He needs to share some things with you out of his Word that might hurt, but it's good. Let me pray, and then we're going to dig into this passage. Let's pray.

Father, we come to you tonight, and there's an excitement, there's an energy, there's a passion. Even as we worship, I'm just going, "God, we want you. We want you." Yet the reality of our Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday normal life is that we are stuck in a cycle in our dating and relationships that, God, by your Spirit, I'm just asking you would break us out of tonight. Come, Holy Spirit. Do whatever you need to do to speak to us. We are listening to you. In Jesus' name, amen.

All right. Luke, chapter 22. We're looking at Peter's life as a case study of your dating life. You go, "What?" Just follow me. If you're familiar with Peter, Peter is one of the disciples who's just awesome. You have to love Peter, because Peter was a "ready, fire, aim" kind of person. Some of you are like this. You have the best intentions, but you're just all over the place. This was Peter.

Peter is a fisherman at the beginning of his life, and Jesus comes to him. He goes, "Hey, you. Come, and I'll make you a fisher of men." Peter goes, "Right on." He ditches the boat, he gets rid of the business, and he follows Jesus. You go, "All right." Peter, throughout his life, is constantly acting before he's thinking. He's constantly overreacting to things that are happening in his life. We see this on display in Luke, chapter 22.

In Luke 22, this is Jesus' last day before he dies, before he's arrested, before he dies on the cross. Jesus has gathered up his disciples, and he says, "Guys, I'm about to go to the cross, and I'm about to die." Peter pipes up and goes, "Oh, you might, but if you're dying, I'm dying with you." Jesus says to Peter… Just imagine this. He's like, "Yeah, you're my boy. I'm with you." Jesus says, "Yeah, by the time your alarm goes off tomorrow… By the time the rooster crows tomorrow, you'll have denied me three times." Peter goes, "No, no, no! There's no way."

Then we get to the text we're looking at today. Look at Luke 22 and go down to verse 54. Jesus has just been arrested. We're going to see three things that happen in this passage that, if you stick with me, will diagnose the issues and problems that often show up in your dating life. Starting in verse 54, it says, "Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance."

The first thing we see of what Peter is doing is his position. Peter followed Jesus at a distance. This is odd for Peter, because Peter was a disciple of a rabbi, and they used to say of disciples they were covered by the dust of their rabbi. Peter, in particular, was always right by Jesus, annoyingly so. I mean, he's that kid, just always there, yet now, in this particular situation, he's following him at a distance.

See, at this particular moment in Peter's life, following Jesus came with a cost, and he knew it. He knew, "The closer in proximity, in position, that I get to Jesus, it may cost me if people associate me with him, so I'm just going to put him at an arm's length." Let's keep reading. Look at verse 55. It says, "And when they had kindled a fire…" If you write in your Bible, circle fire. That's so important. We're going to come back to that. "…in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them."

The second thing we see is that Peter not only had a position away from Jesus; he also had pressure on him to fit in. Peter wanted to fit in. It's very interesting. At the end, it says Peter sat down among them. The last thing Jesus had said to his disciples, had prayed for them in the garden, was he said, "God, I'm praying that they would be, yes, in the world but not of the world." Peter is doing the opposite here. He's associating, going, "I just want to fit in. I don't want to be different. I just want to fit in." Let's keep reading.

"Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, 'This man also was with him.' But he denied it, saying, 'Woman, I do not know him.' And a little later someone else saw him and said, 'You also are one of them.' But Peter said, 'Man, I am not.' And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, 'Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.' But Peter said, 'Man, I do not know what you are talking about.'"

The last part here is Peter's posture. We see that he lies and hides. In this particular situation, when people, regardless of their motive, start questioning, "Hey, what are you doing here?" rather than being up front, Peter hides and lies. In Matthew's account, it says on that last lie he invokes a curse on himself.

Okay. We're going to stop. We're going to read the rest, but let's just use this as a diagnosis of your own dating life. You'll see where we're going. For many of you, your dating life follows a similar pattern to this. Let's start with position. Do you follow Jesus but only at a distance, like Peter here? Do you follow Jesus but only with a distance? Rather than being covered with the dust of your rabbi, do you hold Jesus at an arm's length?

Some of you are so down to be associated with Jesus as long as it works to your advantage. So, on your Instagram bio, you have that verse in there. You can't quote it. You don't know what it says, but it's in there, because it gets you the kind of rapport, the kind of people you want to be associated with. For some of you, it's, "Man, I'm down to go to church or The Porch if it's convenient, if it works out." For others of you, it's, "Man, I'll pray before that big presentation," but when push comes to shove, when your reputation is on the line, Jesus is at an arm's length.

If you're in a relationship and you're wanting it to be associated with Jesus, but then the other person says, "Ah, if you're into all that, I'm going to break up with you," you go, "Ah, that's not worth it." Some of you would say, "If Jesus were to change how I live my weekends or my mornings or my evenings, then, nah, it's not worth it." Or "If being associated with Jesus would make me odd or weird…arm's length." Oftentimes, we find this the most in dating relationships.

I remember when I went on my first date with Jen, my wife, I had the whole thing planned out. I took her to dinner in Lower Greenville. It was amazing. Then we went down to coffee. We were in the coffee shop, and we were talking to the barista. The barista was honest. I asked, "How are you doing?" She was like, "To be honest, I'm struggling. It's been kind of a hard day." I felt in my head… I'd been following Jesus for a while. I felt in my head, "Pray for her. Like, out loud, right now."

I was like, "Oh man! It's a busy coffee shop. I'm on this date with Jen who I don't really know. I know she's a Christian, but this is weird. 'Can I pray for you right now?' Pause. Church in the coffee shop." I remember thinking, "All right. I'm going to do it." I asked this barista, "Hey, is it cool if we pray really quickly right now, 30 seconds?" She was like, "Yeah. Absolutely." I prayed for her, and then we sat down, and to be totally honest, I forgot about it.

Months later, as Jen and I were talking and considering getting engaged, she said, "You know, Tyler, that moment right there was the turning point for me in how I thought about you, because it didn't feel like a show, and it didn't feel like you were trying to do something to get me. It felt like it was just real and it was you, and I've never seen somebody do that before. It made me want to be with you." It was interesting. For me, that was such a wrestle, and then I forgot about it, but for Jen, it was something that set me apart. I'm curious, for you, in that kind of situation, would you lean in or would you push away?

The first thing is position. The second is pressure. Do you purely want to fit in? When it comes to dating relationships, do you purely want to fit in? Are your dating convictions set primarily by the environment you're in? With every person you date, do you change like a chameleon a little bit who you are to try to woo this person, to try to fit in with their friend group, and you're constantly changing?

For some of you, every time you date someone different, everything about your wardrobe, your sports teams, your desires, your affections, your food choices, and your dietary restrictions change because of this person. You're a shape-shifter. You're constantly changing to get this person. For some of you, it's beyond just that. It goes into your convictions, where you walk in with a pure set of convictions, and then that person doesn't align, and you go, "Ah, okay. Not a big deal. I'll go with what you have."

I remember when I was a youth pastor, which is wild, because some of my youth ministry kids are now young adults… Many of you are here, which is insane. I remember when they were freshmen in high school. You have some of these freshman boys who don't even know what cologne is. Showers are optional. Clothing is like, "I can wear the same exact thing seven days in a row."

All of a sudden, everything starts to shift. They're smelling good. They're changing their clothes. In fact, you can smell them walk into the building because the aroma of Axe body spray is following them, and you know, "Oh, that dude has a girl." He's starting to change who he is. There are elements of that that are funny, there are elements of that that are good, but for some of you, so many of your convictions, of your beliefs, of the things you would die for, of the things you would worship Jesus with, can change like that with that person.

You're very much like Peter here where you'll change. I just want to say, if that's you, I would be concerned. Right now, all you can see is the positive of that person. If you will give up your convictions that quickly, what else will you be willing to give up? I would just caution you. Make sure your eyes are open and you are not being manipulated and won't look back months and years later and go, "What was I thinking?"

That goes into the third one, the posture. Is your relationship built on lies and on hiding? Are there people in your life who you know love you who you're not listening to and not being up front with because, in reality, you don't want to know what they have to say? For some of you, there are people in your life who are looking at your relationship, and they're trying to give you advice, but all you want to hear is, "We're for you. We're for you." You don't want to know the truth, so you begin to push them away. I would be careful.

If this is what you're doing in your relationship, you're digging yourself into a hole, and you're not heeding the wisdom that Proverbs 11:14 says. "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." Rather than heeding that proverb, you're becoming a proverb. Proverbs 18:1 says, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

If you're constantly sneaking around, if you're constantly keeping secrets from those who love you the most, living in the dark, you are not really living. If your mantra in your relationship is, "Man, it's us against the world," you're not living a fairy tale; you're living a nightmare. That's where you're living.

As I look back on my dating relationships, there were a number of relationships in my life where my family and those around were not for it. It wasn't so much because of the other person. They were looking at us together and going, "Tyler, it just doesn't make sense." It's funny. Every time I'd have that conversation, where I'd be so excited, like, "Hey, what do you think?" and they'd be like, "Man, I'm not sure," I would get so offended. "How dare you? This is what my heart wants, and you're against me?"

I'd start hearing those lies in my head, like, "Well, if they're not for me in this, then are they for me in anything?" and I'd start pushing them away and start looking for people who would affirm my relationship. So, all of a sudden, I got new friend groups. I started with new community who were for me because I was pushing away the people who were going, "Tyler, I'm just trying to tell you good advice."

I can tell you in hindsight, 100 percent of the time that was a mistake. Instead, the way to be (what Kylen has talked about) is when somebody who you know loves you goes, "Hey, I'm concerned," you come to them, not being defensive but being curious, and ask, "Can you tell me? Can you tell me more? What is it that you're concerned about? What is it that doesn't make sense to you?" and lean into that.

Everything was different when I dated my wife Jen. Right from the beginning, Jen and I wanted our relationship to be in public. We wanted our families in at the very beginning, and we didn't want them to give us fluff. We wanted them to give us the truth. Our families didn't live nearby. We were in Dallas, and they lived in Oklahoma and in Tennessee, but within the first three months, we had visited both, because we were like, "We just want you to see. We want you to be all aware."

I remember taking the drive to Tennessee and hanging with my parents, and they were giving me… Like, behind her back, they were like, "She's great." I was like, "Cool." We go out to dinner. We're three months into this relationship. They're just getting to know her. My dad goes, "So, what's your timeline on marriage?"

I'm like, "Dad! It has been three months. We haven't talked about this." Jen is like, "What?" My family was just going, "Hey, we've seen it, and we're in." I'm just telling you there's something so life-giving to being like, "Oh, community knows us. They're aware, they're speaking into our lives, and they're for us."

Not just in our family, but in the way we spent time together, Jen and I decided right from the beginning… She was a teacher. I was a youth pastor. We were like, "We don't want to live in such a way where, as we date, if we spend time together one night, and then we see one of our students the next day, and they go, 'Hey, I saw you last night,' we'd have that sinking feeling of 'Oh no. What did you see?'"

So we decided (this is radical to some of you), in our dating relationship, "We will never be alone." Even when we said it, we were like, "I don't know how this is going to work, because what if we're hanging and then your roommates leave?" But we were like, "We're just never going to be alone."

Do you know what it did? As we took all of that potential hiding, potential alone time, and we were in public a lot on intentional dates, it forced us to be creative rather than to go, "Hey, do you want to go watch a show? Do you want to go to your apartment?" and just hang and then find ourselves in a situation where "Netflix and chill" just happens. We said, "That's off the table. It's not happening."

I can tell you here on this stage, we have no regrets, zero regrets, because Jen and I just said, "We're not living with lies, and we're not living in hiding. We're going to be radical, yet in doing that, we believe God's way is better." Proverbs 14:12 says, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."

I'm curious. For you, as you diagnose your dating relationships, do you go, "Man, there's a way that feels right. There's a relationship I'm trying to make happen. My community isn't for it. We're doing some things that I have some bad feelings about, but I enjoy this person. I enjoy being with them." Yet God goes, "There's a way that seems right, but the end is the way of death." So diagnose. How is your position? What is the pressure that's on you? And what is your posture right now?

Let's keep looking at the story with Peter of what happens next. Peter is in the midst of this moment where his position, his posture…all of these things… The pressure is on him. Let's pick it up in the second half of verse 60. It says, "And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, 'Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.' And he went out and wept bitterly."

The rooster. The very thing Jesus said would happen, happened here. I've been thinking. What was so big about the rooster crowing? Some of you have been in church. You know this story. What was so big with Peter with that rooster crowing that made him go from, "Okay. I think I'm good, I'm good, I'm good," to all of a sudden weeping bitterly? It's because when that rooster crowed, the eyes of his heart were opened, and he realized what he had been doing.

I've been praying leading up to tonight that, for some of you, the rooster would crow tonight. For some of you, in the midst of the sexual sin you're living in, the relationship that is not healthy, the way you treat people that leads them on, the way you're pushing out community, that tonight, the rooster would crow. For some of you, it's not just tonight; it's the season you've been in where the rooster has been crowing, where your eyes have been opened, and you've wept those tears. We sing the songs. We have the energy, the excitement, yet relationships…

I remember talking to people as a youth pastor in college ministry, and nothing causes more pain than a relationship gone wrong. Some of you have been there. So, I want to spend the end of our time looking at two things that happen from this moment on in Peter's life. This could have been the end of Peter's story, and it's not. It is not the end. There are two things that happen that Jesus does that make the reputation of Peter completely different.

If you have your Bible, flip a little bit over to John, chapter 21. The first thing that happens in Peter's life… Remember, the last scene we've seen of Peter is the rooster crows, Jesus looks at him, he's filled with what feels like condemnation, he hits the ground, and he's weeping. "I'm undone." The next thing we see is John, chapter 21.

Now, in John, chapter 21, Jesus has already died. He rises again, and notice what Peter is doing. Look at John 21:3. "Simon Peter said to them [the other disciples], 'I am going fishing.' They said to him, 'We will go with you.' They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing."

This is interesting. Peter, after this moment, thinks to himself and goes, "Man, I'm just going to go back to doing the thing I know I'm good at. I tried the whole apostle gig. That didn't work out, so I'm going back to fishing." This is some of you. You tried doing dating God's way. You tried doing it right, yet that failed miserably. You get broken up with. Your heart is in pieces, and you go, "You know what? I'm just not good enough. I'm just going to go back to what I know, because that's all I'm good for. That's all I've got."

From there, they still… They catch nothing. He goes back to what he's good at. He still catches nothing. Then, look down at verse 7. It says, "That disciple whom Jesus loved [John] therefore said to Peter, 'It is the Lord!'" So, as they're out there, catching nothing, Jesus comes up and tells them to throw the net on the other side, and John sees it. He says, "It is the Lord!"

"When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea." I love this. Peter is out there. He's hanging with the boys. He has his shirt off. "Sun's out, guns out." He's just out there living life. Right? He realizes it's Jesus, and then he puts on his clothes and jumps into the water. I don't know who does that. That's our boy Peter.

He jumps into the water, and he swims and goes onto the beach. We see Jesus is there. Look down at verse 9. "When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, 'Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.'" Peter hears Jesus is on the shore. He swims over there. He gets up, and he sees a haunting image.

Remember, I told you earlier to circle where it said fire. In John's account of this story, the fire Peter was sitting around when he had denied Jesus was a charcoal fire. That's what it says in John, chapter 18. It's very specific. A charcoal fire was not just some normal fire. Back in their day, it was very expensive and very rare to have a charcoal fire, yet Jesus very intentionally, there on the beach, has a charcoal fire going.

Peter has just gone through this. He sees that fire and goes, "Oh man. Here comes the 'I told you so' speech." I mean, he has the prop. He has the moment. "You've been fishing. Give me some of your fish. Look at this fire. I told you." "I told you that toxic relationship was going to lead to your downfall. I told you. I told you if you took the filters off your phone you were going to end up right in the same place. I told you. I told you that if you went away from the advice of your family and your community this was going to happen. I told you." What does Jesus do? This is wild. What does Jesus do? Look at verse 15.

"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.' He said to him, 'Feed my lambs.' He said to him a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.' He said to him, 'Tend my sheep.' He said to him the third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?' and he said to him, 'Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.' Jesus said to him, 'Feed my sheep.'"

What is Jesus doing here? Notice he's reversing the denial. The three things Peter had done in the midst of denying Jesus in front of people Jesus reverses here in this moment. His position. He singles Peter out. He says, "No more following at a distance. I want you close." The pressure. He appoints Peter as a leader. He says, "I don't want you just among people; I want you a leader of them." Then the posture. He reverses his lies. Three times he asks him, "Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?" Jesus reestablishes relationship with Peter, and he reminds him of his calling.

Just thinking of some of you in this room… For how many of you, your past dating relationship, in one way or another…something that happened, something you did, something you were a part of, the toxicity you got led into…has led you to the spot where you're broken? You're there, like Peter was. Your Savior tonight… Tonight! The reason you're here… Jesus is looking at you. Forget all of us. He's looking at you with the charcoal fire, with the very thing that brings so much shame in your life, and he's saying, "I want you to look at this."

"Why does this keep happening to me? Why is this going on?" He goes, "I want you to look at it right in the face." He says, "The very thing that brought so much shame in your life… I want you to know that I've come to redeem that thing and bring relationship back with you. I'm not here to condemn you; I'm here to restore relationship with you."

Even looking at the line of Jesus… God isn't scared of the messed-up people. He's not afraid of the ones who are going, "Oh man! I've gone too far." Think of the line of Jesus. You have Rahab, who's a prostitute. You have David, who's a murderer and adulterer, in the line of Jesus. It doesn't matter how far you've gone. Jesus says, "I want to use you." God is not scared of your broken past. He wants to redeem you and set you on the path of life such that you start tending what you used to be taking.

I remember someone once telling me… They said every guy in the world is one of two things. They're either a predator or a protector. Some of you guys have been living as predators. You've been trying to take, take, take, and tonight is the opportunity, the moment to go, "No, I don't want to take. I want to start tending. I want to start giving. I want to start protecting. I want to see the image bearers around me not as people to take from but as people to protect."

Some of you ladies live constantly going, "If I can just get that relationship, then I'll have a rock, and all of the hard things in my life… It's me and him. Then I could just be together." I would say read the Psalms where David is constantly going, "God, lead me to the rock that's higher than me. I need something that's deeper, that's greater than me."

The first thing is Jesus restores relationship with Peter. The second thing, the last thing, is Jesus empowers Peter with the Holy Spirit. Not only is Peter forgiven and restored with Jesus; he's empowered by the Holy Spirit. In the book of Acts, we see that Peter becomes a leader in the church. Acts, chapter 4, says the Holy Spirit actually fills him such that he begins to speak in front of people. His very mouth that caused him so much downfall becomes the instrument God uses to spark the movement of the early church throughout the world.

Not only that, but in Acts, chapter 4, the Jewish leaders come and threaten Peter. They say, "Hey, you're not allowed to talk anymore in the name of Jesus." I love it. One of my favorite passages in the whole Bible is Acts 4:19-20. Peter says to them, "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard."

Not only has Peter been forgiven, but he has been empowered by the Holy Spirit to do what he could have never imagined. Peter became a person who now we look at as a person of conviction, wisdom, boldness, and courage. I believe for some of you… Don't buy the lie that you're too broken, that you've gone too far, that you're too messed up, that you're too anything.

God looks at you, like he looked at Peter, and says, "I understand. I know what I purchased, and I'm looking at you, saying, 'If you will come into relationship with me and be empowered by my Spirit, then don't put limits on what I'm able to do.'" I want to end with two questions, two questions that we're going to take a minute to think about before we go back into worship.

First, is Jesus wanting to meet with you around a charcoal fire tonight, not to condemn you but to restore his relationship with you, to stare at that thing that has so often stolen from you and say, "No, no, no. I want to redeem you in the midst of that"? Secondly, do you have the Holy Spirit? Some of you have been trying and failing and trying and failing and trying and failing. You're going, "Man! Is there any hope?"

I would just say, don't assume that the answer to, "Do you have the Holy Spirit?" is "Yes." Instead, maybe tonight is the opportunity to go, "God, I need a power inside of myself to do beyond what I can do." I believe God is inviting some of you for this to be a moment of surrender, to say, "God, I need the Holy Spirit. I need a spirit inside that leads me on a direction, on a path that's different than what I've been living up to this point." Maybe the way to live and to date is not by just trying harder but by surrendering to his Spirit. Let's pray together.

Father, we just confess that we need you. Lord, I pray for some who've come into this place going, "Man! If I can just overlook all that, I'm going to carry that thing to the grave. I don't want to have to deal with the messiness, the shame, and the guilt in my life." If I know anything about you, God, it's that you force us, in your grace, to stare right at it, to look at that thing that has brought so much shame and guilt and say, "No, no, no. What the Enemy meant for evil I am going to use for good."

God, you took, even with Peter, so much of a sporadic story of his life and used it. You course-corrected him and set him on a trajectory to be used by you for things he could have never dreamed. God, I believe tonight you want some of that for us. So, God, would you restore to us the joy of your salvation? God, would there truly be, in the midst of our broken relationships, a restoration of our relationship with you, and would we be set free to be filled with your Spirit to do what you've called us to do? God, we love you, and we trust you. In Jesus' name, amen.