Porch Notes 08/30/2011
Reading out of the Jesus story book bible:
Fairy Tales aren't true, or are they?
Princess waiting for Prince charming (JP's kids have lots of princess-related items)
Girls have been waiting for a prince since age 4.
Guys: Girls became interesting around 14. They have to slay the dragon. They have to conquer a woman.
Most of those happily ever after tales end in failure.
Very few people have stories where they eventually realize that they are validated in Christ, not in a relationship.
The bible says nothing about dating, but it does provide a lot of other valid information. Tonight we will hear a lot of JP's opinion.
We push aside a lot of the black and white issues, such as only dating believers, only dating those who are keeping the same pace as you, etc.
Challenges at Porch (from Elders: leaders of the Porch volunteer teams)
-Guys don't ask the girls out
Maybe there's just one guy who doesn't ask girls out.
The only reason a guy wouldn't find someone they're attracted to is unrealistic expectations.
-Girls always say no to dates
Maybe the girls should be more specific when telling a guy why they don't want to date them. (i.e. Telling a guy that they don't think he's in a place to date.)
The only reason a girl would consistently turn guys down is unrealistic expectations.
-Girls claiming a guy, because they like him
-Girls taking a couple of dates too seriously
-Guys are not intentional
Guys should be upfront about where they stand. (Use your words.)
If you're not ready to date don't date. If you're not ready to marry, don't date.
-Friendationships or Frates
God made man and woman to be attracted to each other, not attracted to a specific person.
These relationships can hurt.
With a lot of work you could make a marriage between any guy and any girl work.
-Girls are too aggressive.
Somewhere deep inside guys don't like aggressive girls. They may be friends with them, date them, but don't like to marry them.
-Guys leading girls on
-Going out with someone you don't know
The biggest problem with asking someone if they are Christian is that many people who aren't Christian believe that they are.
-No self control
-Early emotional exchange
One must guard their heart.
-Trusting promise over performance
-Not Trusting Community
Arranged marriages are okay. Your communities know you and can rightfully guide you.
Song of Solomon 1:4
Challenges at the Porch: Why do we date?
Like a tool that is being inappropriately used as a toy by a kid, we use dating to have fun.
We should date so that we can intentionally find someone to spend the rest of our lives with.
Can you marry them?
Do you want to marry them?
If you're in a good place to get married, you should marry, as soon as you can.
Proverbs: He who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Want To---Can I---Should I
Can I---Should I---Want To
One reason people don't get married is because they over think it. And most marriages fail.
If we let our wants drive us everything can because fuzzy.
We are all sleeping beauty, dead in our sins, waiting for Christ to come wake us.
There is joy in realizing the one you love, loves you back. (Fleeting)
Lasting joy should come from realizing that the one we love (or should) love loves us back (Jesus).
Guys shouldn't look for someone to save, but someone who has been saved.
Girls shouldn't look for someone to save them, but for the one who has saved them.