How YOU doing?
I've joked before saying, "Do I have the word 'sucker' tattooed on my forehead"? Whether it is in regards to shopping or dating I have been talked into "needing" something I actually don't need. I love that JP started our first message with you have to know what you are looking for before you shop, or you will be lured into all sorts of things you never really wanted/needed to begin with. Knowing what you are looking for in someone you'd date is so very important, otherwise you will fall for anything. Sadly, for a lot of women instead of knowing what we want we in a man we just want attention from any man. We wait for the next guy who will give us any attention, the next guy who will say anything that makes us feel like we are special...even if for just a day. This commonly will lead women into liking how a guy makes us feel, instead of actually liking the guy for who he is. The feeling card starts to trump the reality card and that's when you really know there is a problem.
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12
JP gave us great biblical truths as to what we (both guys and girls) should look for in someone we would date straight from 1 Timothy 4:12: SPEECH, CONDUCT, LOVE, FAITH, and PURITY. (You can check out the last blog post for all of his notes on each of these.)
One of the best things I did for my dating life was to take a break from dating. I know that may sound weird to some of you, and to be honest I didn't love the idea when community around me recommended it. All I knew is that I was tired of dating the same way I always had and getting the same outcome. Something had to change and I was exhausted spinning my wheels with no real progress.
What lesson in your dating life do you feel like you have to keep learning? What pattern can you see that has led you frustrated/hurt? Are you still dating in the same way and expecting a diffrent outcome? Are you dating someone who's reputation is unhealthy relationships, and like in He's Just Not That Into You, hoping to be the exception to the rule?
I think as a society we bounce from relationship to relationship just killing time, and thinking that we'll just know when we meet "the one". A huge problem with that is that we are carrying a ton of baggage into each relationship and never really allowing any healing or growth. Have YOU taken time to deal with your own past issues? Are you the kind of person you are looking for? Both guys and girls I think would all say they want someone that is honest, trustworthy, not sleeping around, not selfish, not angry or always gossiping, and if you're reading this I'm assuming you probably want someone who is committed to loving and serving the Lord. How are YOU doing in those areas?
I love when JP said, "You're not DQ'd forever. You work on you though, and then come back in the game."
You have to know what you want, and you have to know who you are IN CHRIST before you really should start dating. You can't look to someone else for the love and completeness you can only find in Christ. They cannot be your savior, and you cannot be theirs.
Far too often I see that we would rather have others approval and affirmation over the Lord's, and we settle for good rather than holding out for great. When we do this it shows our lack of trust in the Lord, and that should be our sign that we still have things to work on. Thank God that he is patient with us, even when we are extremely impatient with him and his timing. God is faithful, even when we are not. Praise Him for that truth.
_ “We don’t love God for the way He makes us feel. We love Him for who he is-his character.”-JP _
The truth is there are sometimes where we don't feel like loving God because of our circumstances. Feelings change constantly, His character does not. James 1:17 TRUST HIM.
Praying for you all~
And just for fun here is Joey from friends with "How you doin": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc2Z7CL4Cv0