By Daniel L
I wish I knew who she was. Like in a fairytale, my princess is stuck in that specific tower. I’ll slay the dragon, kiss the girl, we’ll get married and the people rejoice! No, life is much more confusing. I’ll likely fall in love with the dragon instead, realizing my mistake only after she bites my legs off.
The truth is… I’m incredibly scared of a bad marriage. Looking at relationships around me, I’ve got a 50/50 chance of having my own marriage spiral down into deceit, bitterness, and hatred. I know marriage is tough, and it requires a lot of work from both parties. At this point in my life, I think part of preparing for the right marriage is figuring out who the right woman is to pursue.
A woman that is constantly seeking after God
There is comfort in knowing that my wife will not find her worth in me. I’m imperfect and selfish and will fall short of providing her what she truly needs in life. I can feel secure about my marriage knowing her strength and joy comes from a loving and perfect God.
At the end of his message on James, JP proudly told us how his wife’s pursuit of God’s heart turned a financial burden into blessings for him and the people in their life. How powerful is the wisdom of a woman who pursues God with her whole heart? She can become the great rescuer of a man’s sanity, a future marriage and family. A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones (Proverbs 12:4).
In the book of Genesis we see Potiphar act on the false accusations of his jealous and unfaithful wife. By throwing Joseph into prison, we know he loses his most trusted servant and the blessings that followed the future COO of Egypt. I know my wife will have a huge influence on my decisions and my actions. To ensure I’m being the man I should be, I need her biggest influence to come from the ultimate source of love and wisdom.
A woman that will help me be a better man
In a recent post, Donald Miller recounted a story of a successful business man that had to call his wife to tell her they were going to go bankrupt. He was distraught and a mental wreck. It wasn’t her voice on the other line that brought him peace. It was her wisdom. She told him not to worry, that their eternal life was secure, and to go read Ecclesiastes. He did, and was able to sleep in peace.
Looking to historical figures, Abigail was the biggest influence in the life of John Adams. She acted as his political advisor and was his intellectual equal in all their conversations and correspondence. A total of 1,160 letters have survived out of their abundant exchanges over the years. No other person would be able to access the heart and mind of John Adams as Abigail could. This powerful friendship was recognized and respected by all those that surrounded them.
Many successful men have relied incredibly on their wives to get through trials and to guide their path. The right woman will inspire you to be a better man and help you achieve greater heights that you couldn’t otherwise do alone.
A woman I know I’ll have to wait for
It takes time to learn someone. Far too many men have fallen for the beauty of Helen of Troy or have been lured by the seductive melody of enchanted sirens. Flashes of loneliness and impatience can lead anyone to quit the waiting game and commit solitary suicide on the wrong pretenses and for the wrong woman.
As I set my sights on God and follow after Him, I know He will open my eyes to the right woman when the time is right.