Freedom from Pornography | Timothy "TA" Ateek

What's up, Porch? How are we doing tonight? Hey, it's such a joy. It's so good to be back at The Porch. If we've never met before, my name is Timothy Ateek, and I'm one of the pastors here at Watermark. I want to give a huge shout-out to all of the Porch.Live locations watching tonight. I hope all is well with you. I know we have counselors from Pine Cove in the city here with us. Welcome. I'm so glad you made it.

We are about to jump into a very important topic. Tonight, we are just focusing on the topic of pornography. You don't know whether to cheer or not. You're like, "If I cheer, does that mean I'm into it? If I don't cheer… I don't know what to do." The best thing to do is to just pray. Everyone bow their heads and close their eyes so we can avoid an awkward moment looking at each other.

Seriously. This is a really important part of my story that I'm looking forward to sharing with you about, but I know pornography is a part of many people's journeys right now, so I just want to invite you to pray. Just say, "God, would you speak to me tonight clearly?" Then would you pray for the other people in this room and around you? Just pray that God would speak clearly to them. Then would you pray for me, and would you pray that God would use me tonight in your lives?

Lord, I pray that you would have your way with us tonight. I pray that there would not be one person in this room who leaves tonight without having had an encounter with you. I pray that you would speak clearly to our hearts tonight. May our ears be open, and may our hearts be receptive to anything and everything you would want to say. In Jesus' name, amen.

The summer between my eighth-grade year and my freshman year in high school, my dad and I were flying to Indianapolis to go to the Indy 500 race, and on our way back to Dallas, we were in the Indianapolis airport, and I stumbled upon an inappropriate magazine. I don't know what caused me to do it. Probably it was because I was an almost-freshman in high school, pubescent kid. I picked up this magazine without my dad knowing, and I hid it in my stuff and took it home with me.

I didn't realize that one decision was the beginning of what would be a seven-year intense battle with pornography. Pornography became a very, very defining part of my story for the next seven years. When I think back upon my intense battle with pornography, there were various things that marked that struggle.

The first was I believed everyone struggled with porn. There was this statistic people would float around that 98 percent of guys look at porn and the other 2 percent are just lying about it. That's what all of the guys would tell themselves. So I just viewed myself as a stereotypical college guy, because everyone looks at porn.

Another thing that defined me was a consistent appetite for more. What I would find was there were certain images that would lose their effect, and I would want more. I would want the material to be more explicit or more intense. There was an insatiable, growing appetite for more. Then, on top of that, there was the feeling of being a failure, because I was a Christian, and people knew me as a good Christian guy, yet, so often throughout the week, I was looking at pornography, so I felt like a hypocrite.

I would go through this cycle of promising God, "I'm done with that," and then I might have a good few days or a good few weeks, and then, eventually, I would relapse back into pornography. Then, finally, something that marked my struggle with pornography was a desire to be done with it but this fear that I never would be. This desire, this hope, that I would be done with it partnered with this fear that I never would be done with it.

I share that with you just to say I don't know if that feels a little bit like your journey. I don't know if you can identify with that at all, but if so, I just want you to know there is hope. The reason I can say that is because I'm living it. The summer before my senior year in college, God intervened in my life in a very clear, miraculous, and supernatural way, and the power of the gospel began to go to work on my heart.

It wasn't an overnight thing, but what God did was he set me on a path toward healing, and for the last 19 years of my life, the Lord has led me in freedom from pornography. I tell you that to say I stand up here as someone who can say, "Look. There is hope," because I've been in a place where I felt like there was no hope. Now I stand up here, and I've shared my story, my journey with pornography, with thousands of people.

The reason I share it is I don't have a story to hide; I have a story to tell. My battle with pornography is not this anchor of shame I have to tote through my life; it's a trophy of God's grace, because God intervened, he showed up, he moved, and it was solely because of his grace in my life and his power at work through me in the mighty name of Jesus to break me free.

The reason I wanted to step in and talk about this tonight is to kind of piggyback off of what Kylen was talking about last week. Y'all walked through Colossians, chapter 3, in this amazing series Above All. I don't know if you remember last week, but in Colossians, chapter 3, the conversation was about putting off and putting on. There's the old and the new self. There were certain things the apostle Paul said we should put to death.

Just to remind you, in Colossians 3:5, Paul says, "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." What you need to know is all of those terms are sexual in nature. Paul is looking at us, saying, "You just need to put it to death."

So, the reason I want to talk about pornography is… Here's what pastor and author James Emery White said: "Pornography may be the greatest area of immorality inflicted on and pursued by Generation Z." Do you hear what he's saying? He's speaking about your generation, and he's saying pornography is, quite possibly, the greatest source of sin among your generation. It's the greatest source of sin inflicted upon you.

What he's saying is, "I sympathize with you. You live in a day where it is more difficult to walk in freedom from pornography than any point in history. It's inflicted upon you." But it's also pursued by you. So, I care deeply about your generation knowing there's hope. so much so that when I did a doctoral program, I devoted all of my studies to pornography and fighting for freedom among your generation.

So, I just want to help you take a step toward hope. If you're here tonight, and you are in the midst of the battle, what I want you to feel is hope. If you're looking in the rearview mirror and pornography was a thing of your past, what I want you to feel is gratitude. If you're here tonight and you're like, "Who struggles with pornography?" what I want you to feel is a wake-up call that it's a part of people's stories all around you, and God might want to use you to be a source of hope and healing for your friends.

There are three things I really want to address tonight. I want to address the reality of porn, the results of porn, and the remedy for porn. I'm just going to warn you up front the way this talk is going to feel, because it's not going to feel like a normal message. The first half of it is going to feel very research-based. It's going to be a lot of facts and figures and quotes, but it's good for us to deal with the information. Then we're going to spend the second half of the message diving into the Scriptures, looking at the remedy for porn, so you can leave here knowing there is hope.

1. The reality of porn. I'm going to share some things with you that are so obvious, but it might be helpful for you to hear it anyway. When we talk about the reality of porn, we just have to start with the fact that porn is more accessible and acceptable than ever. Think about it. It's more accessible than ever. Do you know when pornography started? It started in the 1950s through Playboy, which was this magazine for middle- to upper-class white men. It started in print. You had to go to a store to buy it.

Then in the 1980s, pornography made its way to film, but, again, you had to get up the courage to go to a video store to rent a pornographic film, take it up to the counter, and check it out. Then, in the early 2000s, pornography began to flourish on the Internet, but even then, you had to do explicit searches specifically for pornographic websites, and then when you went to them, you would have to pay money for them.

But now…think about it…porn exists on 12 percent of all websites in the world. It's on social media. It's in random text messages you receive, and it's on every streaming platform in the most popular shows of our day. It's more accessible than ever. Pornhub, one of the largest pornographic websites in our world, publishes a data report on their website every single year. This is a stat all the way back from 2019, but just think about this.

In 2019 alone, 6.83 million new videos were uploaded. They just wanted to give us an idea of how much new content that was. Here's what they said: "If you strung all of 2019's new video content together and started watching them [all the] way back in 1850, you'd still be watching them today!" That's just from one year of uploads on one site. My point in telling you that is it is more accessible than ever.

What Pornhub reported is 93 percent of the visits to their website were accessed by a phone, and we all have phones. Here's what I'm telling you. This might feel a little bit dramatic to you, but it's just reality. Every single one of us is carrying around pornography in our pockets every single day, all day. When I was battling pornography, there had to be this intentional effort of going to your desktop computer to access it. Now it's just simply something you access. You don't even have to access it; it will just find you through your social media. It's just reality.

It's more accessible than ever, but that accessibility is combined with an acceptability. One study found that your generation views not recycling as more immoral than looking at porn. Is that interesting? Not recycling is more immoral than looking at pornography. Of young adults, 96 percent are either encouraging, accepting, or neutral when they talk about porn with their friends.

So, just think about where you are with that. Are you one of those people who are like, "You'd better recycle. Looking at porn? It's up to you, but you'd better recycle. I'm checking to see if that blue bag is out every single Tuesday." What is it for you? Where are you at with it? When you talk about porn with your friends… When you joke about it, do you joke about it in a positive light or a neutral at worst?

The reality is we live in a pornified world. What I mean by that is we live in a world where it has become so normalized. I remember watching the TV show Friends. What a classic. I don't know how many of y'all have gone back and binge-watched Friends. Even on Friends in the 90s, porn was just a part of their lives. There's the episode where Joey and Chandler get free porn and it's just a part of their day. They're like, "We need to turn it off," and the minute they turn it off, they're like, "Let's turn it back on to make sure we still have free porn." It's just normalized.

Pornhub totaled 2.14 billion visits during a single month in 2023, which was more than Instagram, Netflix, Pinterest, and TikTok all combined. So, let's just state what it is. Porn is more accessible and acceptable than ever before. That's just reality. Now, I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know, so let's keep moving.

Here's more reality about porn. It's not just a guy problem; porn is a people problem. One study found that 57 percent of young adults seek porn out at least once a month. For so long, pornography was considered just a guy problem, but one survey of 3,000 women found that 31 percent of those 3,000 reported weekly porn use, and 30 percent indicated viewing porn a few times a month.

You might be a woman in this room struggling with pornography, and you feel even more shame because you think you're probably the only one because it's a guy problem. I just want to tell you it is not. The first time I spoke on pornography was back in 2017. The reason I spoke on it was I sat with a group of college students and asked them, "Hey, what do you want me to speak on?" Of the 10 people in the room, two girls and one guy said, "Pornography." It's because women have been increasingly more prone to struggling with pornography.

I remember when I did speak on it, there were girls in the crowd who were like, "Who struggles with pornography?" and what's crazy is there were so many good, sweet Christian girls who were like, "I'm struggling with pornography." So, what has happened is guys feel the freedom to be like, "Yeah, I've been struggling with it; I need some help," and then girls feel like they have to struggle over here alone because they think it's just not something girls struggle with. I just want to tell you it absolutely is, and this needs to be a safe place for you to come and say, "Look. I need help."

The next thing I want you to realize about the reality of porn is this. This is very important. The porn industry is seeking lifetime customers. Do you realize that? The porn and sex tech industries are working to make you a lifetime customer. I want you to understand the mission of the porn industry. The mission of the porn industry is to convince you that sex virtually or sex in a fantasy world is so much better than sex in the real world. That's what they want to convince you of: fantasy is better than reality.

Here's what Pornhub Insights, their end-of-year report, says. Listen to this. This is so interesting. They say, "Users looking for a more realistic porn-viewing experience could tune in and unzip, getting everything they needed without all the real-world troubles. Who needs an IRL partner when you have POV Pornhub videos on your side?"

Do you see what they're saying? They're saying, "Look. Sex in a fantasy world is so much better. It's so much easier. It's so much more customized. You can connect it with haptic technology that makes it a better experience." What the porn industry has going for it is there are so many people in our culture who are rationalizing the benefits of porn.

For example, a Men's Health article states that surges in testosterone caused by erotic films can improve your squat strength at the gym. Who knew? Or here's what a woman with the Sexual Wellness Center explained: "Women are increasingly viewing porn, which hopefully means they are engaging in some self pleasuring. This is good news, as it indicates that women are taking charge of their sexuality, discovering their bodies and identifying what they like. Less shame, less taboo around female sexuality equals more exploration."

See the rationalization? In addition to rationalization there is innovation. I want you to think about the development of porn in terms of the five senses. The way pornography started out in the 1950s was just through sight, and then in the 1980s, when it moved to film, it combined sight and sound, but now we're moving into a day and age where there is Bluetooth technology that introduces sight, sound, and touch.

What's interesting is in the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, if someone wanted to get rid of porn, it was like, "Dude, you just need to throw out your magazines." In the 1980s and 90s it was, "Stop going to Blockbuster Video." In the early 2000s it was, "Dude, get rid of your Ethernet cable." I know I'm saying things that you're like, "I don't even know what he's talking about right now." An Ethernet cable was a cable that connected your huge desktop computer to the wall to the Internet.

Now we're in a day and time where we are moving closer to, "Hey, dude, you need to get rid of your haptic technology. Like, your haptic suit." In a matter of years it's going to be like, "Dude, you've got to give up the sex robot. Let's just get real. It's time to get rid of it." We can think, "Dude, that's crazy. That's not where we're headed." It most certainly is. Why? Because you have an industry that is trying to replace real-life experience.

What they've done is they've taken deepfake technology so that now, if you have enough images of anyone…the person you sat next to at Starbucks, the person who works next to you, someone you see at the gym… If you have enough pictures of them, you can dump them into a program, and they'll analyze that person's facial features, combine them with a porn star's body, and you can be with whomever you want. Talk about a violation of your being. Listen to what one guy in the sex tech industry says. He says, "We're rapidly approaching a point where man and machine merge, where sex can be better and safer outside of real life."

So, I tell you that, and some of y'all are like, "This is not what I expected from The Porch." You got invited, and you're like, "Don't call me next Tuesday. I can tell you from right now it's a hard pass for me." Good news. We're going to be back in Colossians next week. I won't be here next Tuesday. Kylen will be back. You should totally come back next Tuesday, but while I'm here, I'm going to keep moving forward. Okay? That's the reality of porn.

2. The results of porn. Here are some results of porn. First, it cultivates unrealistic expectations. What's interesting is if you struggle with porn… How old were you when you were first introduced to porn? The average age is somewhere between the ages of 8 and 13. That means you were introduced to porn before you actually got sex ed from the public school system. So often, whoever tells us something first becomes the authority.

So many of us grow up thinking sex is what we have learned through porn. It's like a stand-in sex ed for us. So we step into marriage thinking sex is what we've seen in porn. Or not even marriage. If you're sexually active in your dating relationship, there's a good chance you expect for your sexual experience to mimic what you've seen in porn. Sex, then, is all about you. It's what you like. It's what feels good to you. It's about your orgasm. Porn leads you to believe your spouse exists to meet your sexual needs.

It's so interesting. As I was doing my research, I came across this quote from a porn star. Listen to what she says. Some of y'all are going to be like, "I don't even want to know this." She says, "Porn actors spend hours in the same position to get the shot. You are sore after hours of filming. Being on set, it's hot and your makeup runs and you get sweaty fast. You work long days and long hours filming to create a 15-minute clip of pure perfection."

She's saying, "None of it is real. We spend hours and even days to then splice together 15 minutes" to create this experience that convinces a generation that fantasy is better than reality. People in your generation are dating less. You're getting married less. You're waiting longer. Why? Because so many people in your generation are at home connecting virtually with fantasy. It cultivates unrealistic expectations.

Secondly, it normalizes perverted desires. It convinces you that perverted desires are actually normal. There's a rule on the Internet. It's this unofficial rule, Rule 34, which states "If it exists, there's porn of it. No exceptions." What they're saying is, "Hey, if you can dream it, if you can think of it, there's probably already porn of it." There's a reason your appetite grows when you start looking at porn. Your desire for things that are more novel, more intense, more extreme begins…

It's like a snowball moving down a hill. It just grows bigger and bigger and bigger. Why? Because you have all of these videos that are saying, "Yeah, that fantasy you had? That's actually normal. There's actually already a video that exists of it." The searches people are making… It's so interesting that one of the top searches on Pornhub was for cartoon characters that feature cartoons that have both adult features and child features. What it's doing is normalizing this perversion for people to want something that is not real.

Next, it strains and even ruins relationships. I have seen marriages dissolve because of pornography. Studies show that porn use can increase sexual dissatisfaction, it increases self-consciousness in women about body image, and it increases the probability of divorce. Some medical professionals have concluded that some men are experiencing porn-induced erectile dysfunction. It's this kind of desensitization of men that they can only reach the point of feeling stimulated when sex is like it is on a movie.

Next, it hinders intimacy with God. The reality is it's hard to be swimming in sin and intimate with Jesus at the same time. If you've convinced yourself that you're close to God when you're very close to porn, you can't be close to both at the same time.

It also hinders impact. One of the things that led to a change in my journey with porn is I remember the church I was attending and serving at… I applied to be a Bible study leader, and on the application they asked, "Do you struggle with pornography?" I was like, "Of course I do, just like 98 percent of the other dudes, and the other 2 percent, you should just ask them about their lies."

I remember this guy calling me and saying, "TA, we've got to talk about this. It's going to be hard for you to lead a group of guys in studying God's Word when you're struggling with this." That was a wake-up call. "You know what? Sin impacts your ministry." So, those are the results of porn. Let's shift gears now.

3. The remedy for porn. What is the remedy for porn? Well, at the foundational level, I want to use John 8:32 as the foundation. Jesus says, "…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." So, I'm going to rifle through these things right now. It's going to feel like a lot. You might need to take notes the best you can and then go back and listen to the message again. There are several things I want you to know that are going to help provide the remedy for your struggle with porn. So, let me begin to roll through these.

A. Know God's will. What's great is that Scripture spells it out. Listen to what Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4:3. "For this is the will of God…" I know that for many of you here, because you're young adults, there's this wrestle right now with God's will for your life. Like, "God, who do you want me to marry? God, what do you want me to do with my life? God, where do you want me to work? Am I in the right job right now? Do you even want me living in Dallas? Is Watermark where you want me coming to church? Who are my friends going to be?"

It's all of this wrestle with "God, what's your will for my life? I need you to open up the heavens and speak audibly and just tell me. Is it him? Is it her? When's this going to happen?" We can be so consumed with God's unrevealed will we completely ignore his revealed will. Just listen to what God spells out for us. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification…" We'll unpack that in a minute. "…that you abstain from sexual immorality…"

That phrase sexual immorality is the Greek word porneia, which is where we get pornography from. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification…" Sanctification means to be set apart. Listen to how this theologian explained sanctification. He said, "By sanctification is meant the continued transformation of moral and spiritual character so that the life of the believer actually comes to mirror the standing which he or she already has in God's sight."

So, let's hear this. Let me say this. If you're here tonight, and you're not a Christian, everything I'm talking about right now comes with the assumption that you have already come to a place where you have realized that in God's eyes, without a relationship with Jesus Christ, you are, according to the Bible, spiritually dead. It's not that you're spiritually bad. It's not that you're spiritually sick so you just need to do better and be better and try harder and come to church more. No. The Bible says you are spiritually dead. It means you are incapable of doing anything pleasing to God on your own.

The incredible news is that when you could do nothing, God did everything. God in his overwhelming love for you sent his Son Christ. The eternal Son of God left heaven and put on flesh in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ lived the perfect life you and I could never live. He was crucified. He died gruesomely. He rose victoriously, conquering all of your sin and all of my sin, so that when you put your trust in him, he actually puts his Spirit in you. God actually lives inside of you, and he begins to lead you, and he makes you new.

So, that's where we have to start. When Millard Erickson is talking about sanctification, he's saying, "Look. If you know Jesus Christ, if you've surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, then Christ has made you completely holy and pure in God's eyes," which is amazing. Positionally before God, you're not filthy, dirty, and packed full of wretched sin. No. In God's eyes you're actually clean and pure and holy.

When Paul says the will of God is sanctification for your life, what he's saying is God's will is that we would be practically what we already are positionally. So, if positionally in God's eyes we are pure, holy, and clean, then God's will is that, practically, we would begin to live pure, holy, and clean lives. That's God's will.

B. Know God's standard. We've established that God's will for you is to abstain from porneia. That's spelled out for you. If there's any question in you, God made it clear. But how serious is God about it? What I love is the Bible doesn't leave us guessing. It's not like, "Well, man, I'm not going to Pornhub. I'm on Instagram just looking at people's random accounts. It's not that big of a deal. It's technically not porn."

Listen to what God clarifies in Ephesians 5:3. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." He's saying, "Look. Because God has made you new and holy, it just doesn't make sense for you." He's saying, "Not even a hint."

I was trying to think, "What are things that have just hints in them?" Well, Tostitos has chips that have a hint of lime. You're like, "Oh, man, it's just a regular Tostito." No, it's not. There's that hint of lime. Or there's sparkling water where you're like, "It's just a plain Topo Chico," and then it's like, "No. It's the one that has the lime in it. It's got that hint." You barely even notice it, but it's there.

Paul is saying, "Hey, not even the hint of it." It's not like, "It's Instagram." No. He's like, "No, not even a hint." It's so interesting the clarity he gives. He says, "There shouldn't even be a hint of porneia or of any kind of impurity." In the Greek, it's the idea of lustful living. The one I really appreciate is he says, "…or of any kind of impurity, or of greed…"

It's kind of like, "What, is Paul ADD that he's like, 'Hey, man. No sex…and greed. Let's talk about money'?" No. That greed he's talking about is a sexual greed. It's the idea that you believe other people exist for your own gratification. He's like, "Yeah, when you're at the gym, and you see her or him, and you begin to fantasize, like they're not an actual being; they just exist for your fantasy world…" He's like, "No, no, no. That's a type of greed that doesn't match who you are as God's holy people." Know God's standard.

C. Know God's commands. What does God actually command in the Bible? I love this, because God spells it out for us. He doesn't toss us the keys to our sexuality and say, "I don't know. It's 2024. What do you think?" No, he's like, "Let me just spell it out for you. Know my will. What's my will for your life? Sanctification. Abstain. What's my standard? Not even a hint. What are my commands?"

First Corinthians 6:18: "Flee from sexual immorality." Flee. Like, run away. You see it, and you're like, "Nope," and you're out. Flee from it. The verb tense in the Greek means you make it your habit to flee. "Flee from sexual immorality," but then (y'all talked about it last week, Colossians 5) put it to death. It's the idea of cutting off the supply lines.

When I thought about this… Are there any Stranger Things fans in here? A few. I don't know what you're doing with your life. I love Stranger Things. I don't know if that's okay to say, but I really enjoy it. I want you to think about Dart. Do you remember D'Artagnan, Dusty's pet? He finds Dart when Dart is just this small, little thing. What does Dusty do? He wants to make it his pet. He takes it home. He hides it under his hat. He doesn't tell any of his friends about it. Why? Because he thinks Dart is just this cute little friend he has connected with over a candy bar.

Then what does Dart do? He murders his cat. That's a problem. The thing he was feeding candy bar to fed on his cat. So, in the end, the thing Dusty had made his pet had to die. How did Dart die? From closing the gate. If you haven't seen the show, you'll just have to believe. You had to close the gate to the Upside Down where all of the power was coming from. You had to close it. You had to cut off the supply line.

You can't make porn your pet. It's like, "You know what? I'm just going to stick it in the aquarium. It's contained. It's not a problem. I can watch all of the shows that are popular right now on Netflix where there's a plethora of sexual scenes. It's not a problem. I'm just watching this because everyone is talking about it."

"I can sit there and scroll endlessly on Instagram," even though Instagram knows what you want to see, has your algorithm down, and begins to consistently make suggestions. "How about a bout with porn? How does that sound right now? Five p.m.? How about some porn? Ten p.m.? Does porn sound good?" You have to cut off the supply lines. Know God's standards. Are you willing to forsake comfort and convenience for the sake of freedom?

D. Know God's enabled capacity. If you hear me say, "Know God's will, know God's standards, and know God's commands," you might be like, "I know them, and I'm still failing. TA, you're just making me feel like more of a failure." Well, this is where you have to understand how the gospel works in your life. Know God's enabled capacity.

Last week, y'all talked about the old self and the new self. It's like wearing clothes. When you're wearing the old self… Bruce Demarest, a theologian, puts it this way: "The old nature is the capacity to serve Satan, sin, and self acquired through Adam, whereas the new nature is the capacity to serve God and righteousness acquired through the new birth."

So, let's be clear. You need to understand who you are because of Christ. Because of what Christ has done, you are completely new, which means you have a completely new capacity. Without Christ, you only have one capacity, and that capacity is to serve Satan, sin, and self. If you struggle with porn, you're well acquainted with that capacity. You're like, "I know my capacity to not want to look at porn ever again, and then an hour later I'm looking at porn."

You know your capacity really well for saying, "You know what? Today I'm going to be strong," and then you're scrolling, and it's like, "Uh, I'll be strong tomorrow, but tonight I can't be strong." Christ is saying, "The biggest lie you can believe is that I've saved you but haven't changed you." What a lie from the pit of hell that Christ has saved you but hasn't changed you. The reality is he has made you new, and he sent his Spirit. God himself lives inside of you, which means you have a new capacity to serve God.

Theologian Douglas Moo says you have been brought into the sphere of God's power. Listen to what Paul says in Ephesians 1:18. "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened…" He's saying, "Look. I just want you to see reality. If you know Jesus, open your eyes. See the truth about you." "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."

What kind of power is it? Don't miss this. "That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms…" Do you understand what that's saying? It's saying the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead actually lives inside of you. Do you realize that? So, if you're sitting there saying, "I have no hope. There's no way I'll ever be done with porn…" To say there is no hope is to say God himself is powerless over your sin. Know your God-enabled capacity.

E. Know your God-given identity. Do you know what my problem was for so long? I was a follower of Jesus Christ, yet I was operating as a stereotypical college guy. "Everyone struggles with porn." But that's not the truest thing about you. If you know Jesus Christ, you're a child of God. Listen to what Paul says in Ephesians 5:1. "Therefore be imitators of God…"

If we only stop there, then we're like, "Oh, here we go. Thanks for making me feel like a failure. How do I imitate God? It's impossible." He says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." Your identity should determine your activity. I love what Louie Giglio said. "Be imitators of God, as beloved children." If you break down that word beloved, what two words does it form? Be loved.

Do you know why so many of us run to porn? It's because we're trying to fill a void of love. We feel undesirable, unlovable. We feel insecure, so it's just safer. It's easier. It pacifies a gnawing pain in our souls that Jesus desperately wants to satisfy. If you want to take a step in freedom from porn, then start allowing yourself to be loved by God as his child. We're his children.

Listen to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." Paul is saying, "You know what? When you put your trust in Christ, your body became a temple of the Holy Spirit." That word in the Greek means your body is a sacred shrine, a sanctuary, or the place where deity dwells.

So, you're not just a stereotypical guy or a stereotypical young adult woman. You're a child of God, but you're the temple of God. When you begin to acclimate to your real identity, it's like, "No, no, no. I'm a child of God. God, how do you want me to interact with porn as your child? Is this what your children do? If I'm your house, if you live in me, is this what we want in your house? If I'm like your sacred shrine, your sanctuary where you dwell, is this what we want to be looking at?" It changes your activity.

F. Know your strategy. Know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Know your strategy. I would encourage everyone to answer these three questions. Here they are. What do you need to start, what do you need to stop, and who can help? Let me just rattle off a few things.

What do you need to start? Let me encourage you. Start memorizing Scripture. The author of Psalm 119 says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word." When I was making my way out of porn, I slept on a loft bed. If that doesn't remind you of college, I don't know what will.

I was sleeping on a loft bed, and I wrote all of these Scriptures on note cards and taped them above my head so that at night I was going to bed meditating on God's Word, and when I woke up in the morning, I was meditating on God's Word. By the power of his Spirit, it began to transform me. Begin to memorize Scripture.

Secondly, you might need to start quitting every day. Don't quit porn for a lifetime. It's too big of a declaration. Quit every day. Wake up and say, "God, today, would you let me go 24 hours without sinning against you with pornography?" I would wake up every morning and say, "God, today, I'm just one step away from looking at porn. God, would you fill me with your Spirit? Would your standard for purity be my purity, and when I'm tempted, would you help me to take the way of escape?" Quit every day.

Thirdly, rehearse your identity. Wake up every morning and say, "God, I'm a child. I don't want to act like a stereotypical woman or a stereotypical male when I'm your child. Help me to live like your child." Pray constantly. Set an alarm to go off every 30 minutes, and each time it goes off, just pray. Say, "God, I'm your child. Help me to live like your child. Right now, for the next 30 minutes, would you empower me with the same power that raised Christ from the dead?"

Next, dignify and humanize those you are tempted by. What do I mean by that? I mean when you're scrolling on Instagram and see someone you want to camp out on, start praying for them. Think about their story. That's someone's son or someone's daughter. That person is someone who needs the gospel just as much as you need it. Who knows what their story is in life. Who knows what brokenness they have in their own life that only Jesus can satisfy. Start praying for them. Dignify them. Humanize them. They're a real person.

Get help from friends to lock your phone down. Dumb your phone down. Make it as unsmart as possible. Then I'd encourage you to rehearse the consequences. This might blow your mind, but after 19 years of being free from porn, I still get tempted to look at porn. Isn't that crazy? The other day, I was going to be in a hotel room by myself, and I was like, "Man, it would be so nice to look at porn tonight." It has been 19 years, and that thought… "Man, it would be so nice to look at porn tonight."

But now the conversation in my head is "That's not even an option. It's not even an option. If I look at porn, I'm going to feel like a failure, because God has done so much for me. That would be a rejection of his love. I'm going to have to tell my wife this is what I chose to do when I was away from her. I'm going to have to tell my kids this is what their dad was doing when I was away from them. I'm going to have to come to church and tell elders here, 'Hey, let me just tell you. You can't trust me when I travel.'"

One of the things you can do is rehearse the consequences. Do you know what you're going to realize? It's just not worth it. Just look at the backside of porn. Just walk around and look at the backside of that 15 minutes of looking, that orgasm, and then reality coming into view. It's like, "Well, there we go. Starting over again." Rehearse the consequences.

What do you need to stop? You might need to stop looking at social media. Some of y'all are like, "No. Please not that." Your phone knows what you want to see. Stop streaming raunchy shows. Get rid of those streaming services altogether. Make more time for reading, exercising, and being with godly friends. I promise you you'll experience more life and joy and energy.

Then who can help? Answer that question. Who can help? If you're like, "I don't have anyone to help," Monday nights, re:generation, right here in this room at 6:30. It is for people just like you and me who are trying to pursue freedom from all different things in life. We'd love to have you here. Commit to walking in the light with a couple of friends. Text some friends before you leave tonight. If you're here with some friends, just be honest with them. Say, "Look. I need your help." But answer those three questions. What do you need to stop, what do you need to start, and who can help?

I'll close by saying maybe, for some of you, the place to start is by surrendering your life to Jesus. Maybe you're sitting there saying, "You're telling me that even after struggling with porn for 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, God would still want me to be his child?" Absolutely. "You're telling me, after I've spent all this time using my body to look at porn, to masturbate to porn, God would even think about coming to live inside of me?" Absolutely.

That's what a good God does. The God of heaven and earth looked upon us, and in his love, he sent his Son. Jesus Christ has come to rescue you and me, to free you and me so we could move from free porn to being porn free, so we could have hope, so we could have peace, so we could have joy, so we could find our deepest satisfaction in the one we were made for, Jesus Christ.

If that's you tonight, maybe God brought you here to hear a talk on the most random topic in your mind, yet he brought you here to say, "Look. Tonight you're going to be mine. I want you in my family. I want you to be my child. I want you to experience all of my love, all of my forgiveness tonight." Let's pray together.

I know I've gone long tonight, but I'm going to ask you to engage in this moment for a minute. If you're here tonight… Look. I'm not trying to tweak emotions. I don't want anyone doing anything that isn't real right now. This is just an opportunity for those who are sitting there like, "God is doing something in my life."

If you're here tonight, and you sense that God is saying, "Tonight you're going to be mine. Tonight I want you to give your life to me…" If God is inviting you to put your trust in him, to receive Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, with your eyes closed, would you slip up your hand so I know exactly who I'm talking to in this place tonight?

If that's you, then let me just ask you, right now, to tell God what you believe to be true. Just say, "God, I believe that you sent Jesus to die for me. I believe Christ conquered sin for me. I want Jesus to be my Lord and Savior." Just tell him. Say, "God, I give my life to you tonight. I surrender my life to you tonight."

I just want to ask. Some people here… Maybe you've been struggling with porn for a long time, and you've never told anyone. You don't have to do this if you're struggling with porn. I just want to give it as an opportunity. Maybe you just need to be known for a minute. Maybe this is just between you, me, and God. If you're sitting there saying, "For the first time, I just need to be known. I'm ready to be done with this. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of the secrecy…"

If that's you and it would be helpful for you, with everyone's eyes closed, slip up your hand and say, "Yeah, you're talking to me. I'm tired of this. I've never told anyone about this, but I just need to be known right now in this moment, at least by God and that guy on the stage. Porn is kind of my deal right now." Just put your hand up really quickly. If that's you, I just want to invite you right now to say, "God, I know you see me. I'm just going to trust that you love me and that you're for me and that there's hope for me. Would you give me hope today?"

We're going to sing in a minute. It's going to be an opportunity for you to respond. If you need to get on your knees to confess before the Lord, you can. If you want to stand in praise and gratitude that God has moved you toward freedom. If you need to sit there and text a friend to say, "Look, I need your help," this is just a space to respond.

Lord God, I speak the name of Jesus over this room tonight and the power that is found solely in his name. Lord, I pray that there would be a movement among young adults in Dallas, Texas, and all over this nation of young adults saying, "Look. Jesus is better. I want Jesus. I want freedom." Lord, would you come and move in our lives tonight? We need you and love you.